Unseen Battles: A Call for Fathers to Protect Their Peace and Family

By Darryl W. Thomas, Jr.

A Battle Worn Long After the War

What if I told you that men are five times more likely than women to apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Would that shock you? Afterall, we as men like to get the job done, right? Well in this case it is sad but true… yet wrong.

More than 49,000 Americans died by suicide in 2022, and males accounted for nearly 80% of those deaths — nearly five times higher than women — highlighting a silent crisis among men, especially fathers and husbands.

For family men, this pressing reality is a reminder: the battles fought on the home front are as real and field-tested as those in overseas combat.

Comparing Wars: The Marine and the Dad

Having served our country from 2000 to 2005; I was one of many called into wartime situations. As a U.S. Marine, I spent time in Kuwait in 2003 and Iraq in 2004. One prominent lesson that I learned is that battle fatigue isn’t left on the battlefield. PTSD, a brutal companion in wartime, finds its way home. Making the internal battles more complex and difficult to conquer.

A year after leaving the Corps, my wife began to show signs of a debilitating, incurable, and hereditary disorder as she was pregnant with our third child. To say that it was challenging is a gross understatement. So, my load was comprised of dealing with PTSD coupled with trying to stay present for a sick spouse, maintaining emotional availability for three children – ultimately five, operating a business, working a 9-5 job and serving the community.

I discovered that I was not the only man dealing with such heaviness. I also learned that, in combat, the enemy is visible. At home, the enemy often hides in exhaustion, emotional silence, guilt, and the heavy expectation to carry all burdens alone.

As a family, your peace is vital. In light of June being the month that we celebrate fathers and Men’s Mental Health Awareness month, I implore all fathers to consider the following.

Three Ways Fathers Can Protect Their Peace

  • Battle Begins with Boundaries- Protect your non-negotiable time for family dinners, prayer, and exercise like you would mission-critical operations. Leave work at work. Be where your feet are. Oftentimes, your presence is more important than your provision. It’s here that mental and spiritual strength are safeguarded.
  • Deploy Your Support Network- In the Corps, every Marine has a battle buddy. At home, you can create a similar system — regular check-ins with another father, a mentor, or a counselor help fight isolation and toxic stoicism. Don’t be that lone wolf because a lone wolf will starve.
  • Own Your Emotional Scars- PTSD and anxiety don’t look a certain way. I don’t care how well you try to dress it up, it will reveal itself. When untreated it can cause collateral damage. Success at work cannot mask the emotional scars. Your community involvement cannot conceal unhealed wounds.

Courageously admitting that there are issues begins the path to healing. Again, don’t face them alone. Taking that first step is an act of courage that models strength for your family.

Three Additional Strategies to Secure the Home Front

  1. Routine Physical Readiness:Complete at least three workouts per week — whether it’s a brisk walk around the neighborhood, a ruck march, a lifting session in the garage or weight-training at the gym. Implement a routine of bodily exercise to regulate stress, release endorphins, and maintain clarity.
  2. Spiritual Resupply:Engage in weekly (if possible, daily) spiritual practices — Bible study, meditation, or prayer walks — to replenish the inner well from which you lead. This strategy is a gamechanger.
  3. Intentional Debriefing:Schedule a monthly “T-time discussion” with your spouse. The more frequent the discussion, the better. What is T-time? It is short for truth time. This is a moment to discuss wins, struggles, and emotional needs honestly without judgement. It invites connection and clarifies purpose.

Closing Words to the Warriors at HomeMen, the uniform may come off, but your battles don’t. Strength is not measured by how much you can carry — it’s proven by how bravely you choose healing. Your legacy isn’t built in silence but in the courage to open up, rest, and invite support.

Mission Orders Start Today: Choose one tip and commit. Join the Brotherhood: Be in the house—virtually—this Tuesday at 6 pm CST on YouTube Live (@1DarrylWThomas) for my REAL Talk Tuesday session. Let’s stand together and talk real. https://www.youtube.com/@1darrylwthomas/streams Engage Back: Comment on what tactic you’re using to guard your mental health or share a story that inspires.And please think about supporting our Hope for the Underdogs summer initiative. A father’s healing helps a generation bloom. Your participation can make a difference.

http://www.committed2win.com/hopefortheunderdogs

Darryl W. Thomas, Jr. is a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, leadership development expert, award-winning speaker, five-time bestselling author, and at-risk interventionist with over two decades of experience. He is the CEO of Committed 2 Win, a personal and leadership development community focused on inspiring, challenging, and empowering young people and adults to overcome adversity and take ownership in becoming the best version of themselves. Beyond his professional achievements, Darryl is a devoted family man, married to his high school sweetheart for 24 years and father to five children: a U.S. Marine, a TCU graduate, a University High School graduate, and two University High scholar-athletes.

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