# Acceptancemeans

By Alicia

What comes to your mind when I say Autistic? Who do you picture in your head? Perhaps a child in your neighborhood who flaps their hands with happiness? Or an adolescent who gives you a detailed account of the solar system’s activities? Maybe the adult from church, who rocks back-and-forth during most services?

Perhaps you have heard that autism is a spectrum. But what does that mean? Autism is a developmental disability and another way of being in the world. To describe behavioral traits common to autistic people, we begin with the medical model, the DSM-5 entry for autism spectrum disorder (APA, 2013, pp. 50-51).

– Social communication impairments
– Restricted and/or repetitive behavioral patterns

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But this entry isn’t complete. It describes what autism looks like, but fails to describe the everyday lives of Autistic individuals. I lapse into academic language when I try to write about autism from a perspective other than my own. I attempt to describe autism in behavioral terms, rather than lived experiences, and get lost in this phrasing.

It is no easier to write about autism from a clinical perspective. For me, the personal is academic. I began reading about autism because I wanted to better understand my friend from undergraduate studies, a young woman with Asperger syndrome.

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“Many of us will become interested in psychology and the helping professions along the way, either because of our diagnosis or in search of it. We find we want to nurture and help others in their journeys because we know how hard it can be.”  ~ Rudy Simone, Aspergirls

Perhaps I am in-between these spaces — the personal and the academic. Not entirely ready to come out, for fear I might be wrong about myself. For the past two years, I’ve read autism blogs and books, immersed myself in the online Autistic community, and befriended women like me. We are writing a narrative of what #AcceptanceMeans.

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Becoming (not finding) yourself is neither a linear, nor coherent process. In the spring of 2013, I first acknowledged my Autistic traits. I remember reading Rudy Simone’s book, Aspergirls. I took copious notes, surprised how the experiences she described resonated with my own.

With the support of the women in my writing circle and like-minded women online, I continued to explore this narrative through research and poetry. April is Autism Acceptance Month. Perhaps acceptance begins with myself.

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How long will I have to mince my words? You see, I have these traits – I’m 85 to 95% sure that this is who I am. I’ve lived in euphemistic dialogue for some time now…

I’m socially different, sensory sensitive; missing gist for detail. This is who I am, regardless of how you choose to see me, label me. We sustain ourselves in these Voldemorty spaces – that which shall not be named.

I’m autistic. Not that you’ll believe me. We’re unicorns. The highly verbal, completely awkward, often confused. I’m not a 12-year-old boy who likes trains. Does that surprise you? It shouldn’t.

My passions are information gathering, sorting, and sensemaking. That’s why I’m here today. I brought a list of all the things you might think are wrong with me – I prefer different. This is merely a collection of traits – some of which get me stuck. Please don’t medicalize me, marginalize me.

This is new to you. Not to me – I’ve been this way my entire life – just hadn’t found my coherent narrative. Hadn’t imagined there were others like us, rising in dust and hashtagging it – dialoguing across countries and timezones. Other women like me, yet utterly alien in their own spaces.

We are developing our own dialogue, a shared narrative – together. I see us in a decent-sized room, sitting at a table, offering virtual cups of tea.

Remembering.
Verbalizing.
Being.

In this created space – creative space. We are ourselves, with little explanation. Needing no one else to fill in our gaps. We are our own. Here anyway. Coda. Yet this space, although not enough, is a starting point. Free from labels or to label as we wish. Existing together in a shared collage of narratives.

Of course this text-based medium would serve us well. Free from constraints of nonverbals and missed cues.

We are here in this place. We fit. We belong. And we are enough. Together.

AliciaAlicia is a graduate student at Baylor University. She writes for reasons both pragmatic and personal. She became involved in the Waco arts community through In the Words of Womyn – Heart of Texas.

For more information about Autistic women, visit Autism Women’s Network (http://autismwomensnetwork.org).

For general autism resources, visit Autism Society (http://www.autism-society.org) and Autistic Self Advocacy Network (http://autisticadvocacy.org)

Local programs for individuals on the autism spectrum include:

The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.

References:
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author

Hope and Healing: Regaining Life from Major Depression

With this post we are kicking off the Act Locally Waco mental health blog.  We hope to post something once a month or so with a focus on mental health.  Stay tuned! — ABT

By Bonnie Goree

Major depression has been a familiar struggle in my adult life. I was just completing junior college when my first episode occurred. I noticed that I could not focus and complete a term paper – my brain felt ‘frozen.’  I had difficulty sleeping and my cognitive skills and mood continuously declined. Another episode occurred in my late thirties, after having major surgery.  The surgery was a shock to my system and drastically upset my chemistry, which led my mood to decline again.  Between 2006 and 2011, I experienced multiple episodes of major clinical depression, requiring hospitalizations, medicine changes, and Electroconvulsive-Therapy (ECT). My struggle with this disorder reached its peak in 2010, when I had to leave my job of almost twenty years as an Early Intervention Specialist at Heart of Texas Region MHMR.  Although I received amazing love and support from my coworkers, at one point I was so depressed that I stayed in bed for 3 days and had thoughts of ending my life. I was feeling so discouraged and hopeless. I had never thought these things would happen to me.

During that difficult time, a friend told me about Mental Health Grace Alliance (MHGA) here in Waco.  I met with the founders of this organization and cried throughout most of our visit. But, their support and unconditional acceptance gave me a glimmer of hope that day. I knew all too well the emotional effects of depression. I would sometimes blame them on my difficult childhood or even see them as a spiritual flaw, but it was not until I was connected with MHGA that I really learned about the physical and medical components of this disorder.  I had never allowed myself to truly believe that a chemical imbalance could be a major contributor to depression and to other mental health diagnoses. In my experience ECT’s had been more helpful than medicine. Since 2011, however, my psychiatrist has found a combination of two meds that thankfully have worked well. In addition to the medicine, I also became involved in the Living Grace Groups through MHGA. There I met others who had been in the same boat as me and were experiencing hope and recovery.

How did God and my faith fit into my times of hopelessness? I had to wrestle and gradually come to terms with this question. I read in the book of Psalms multiple instances where David described ‘dark, hopeless’ days.  I learned that there are many other people in the Bible and in our society that have experienced mental health difficulties. Mother Teresa, for example, wrote in her diaries about her struggles with depression.  I also had amazing support from my church family. The bouts of depression have forged some deep, meaningful relationships that continue to this day.

The last part of the story is my favorite.  Since 2012, I have been back at Heart of Texas Region MHMR as one of the first three Certified Peer Specialists of the organization. We have had the opportunity to create the job from the ground floor as a new service to adults struggling with mental illness.  What an awesome opportunity and privilege I have to offer hope to others!  I can relate and say “I’ve been there and done that.”

My journey to regaining life, hope, and healing has been hard but it is happening!  It has included multiple vital pieces of the recovery pie: staying connected to supportive people, counseling, medical care, healthy eating, exercise, and giving back to help others.  Do I ever have bad days?  Yes. There are bumps along the road, but I have tools to get me through those days now. My faith continues to be a place where I find comfort, as I sense God tell me “We will make it through today together. I am holding you and loving you every step of the way.”

In closing, I would like to encourage those in our Waco community who are struggling with mental health difficulties. Know that there is help available: Don’t be afraid to seek it! If we get sick with the flu, we go to the doctor; so why not get help when facing a mental health challenge? Finally, if you have not suffered with mental illness, be assured that you know people who have. I especially urge those in our local congregations to get educated and seek out resources to offer members who are struggling, as I am aware that not everyone shares my experience of finding support in the church. May Waco be a community where mental health topics are not kept a taboo and where everyone can access the needed support for their own journeys of life, hope, and healing.

Bonnie GoreeThis Act Locally Waco blog post was written by Bonnie Goree. Bonnie has lived in Waco for 24 years. She is from Hurst, Texas. She received her B.A. from Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Texas. She loves animals, and has 2 kitties, Mickey and Jerico. She has 2 nephews, 2 nieces and 2 great-nephews. She loves the outdoors, bike riding, music, and spending fun times with friends.

The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.

 

 

 

Softball and a beautiful kind of family

by Gretchen Eichenberg

Last spring, a most unlikely group of fans never missed one of my daughter’s Lake Air Little League softball games. In my 10 years of sitting in those stands, I had never seen this group of softball enthusiasts before. I knew they hadn’t come to see my daughter — and for most of the season, I wasn’t sure whom they were there to cheer on. There were five to six middle-aged men —all with different intellectual and developmental disabilities — and they watched the game intently and commented on the plays just as if they were at a Rangers game.

softball picEach brought with him a 79-cent bag of Tom’s brand popcorn, probably purchased at a convenient store on the way to the fields. And they enjoyed every crunchy bite of that popcorn about as much as they enjoyed the game. I noticed a kind, gentle and patient man who was always present, but also gave the men their space. Several nights a week, he loaded up a van and brought the men to be part of the cheering crowd — and they helped fill the stands and create an exciting atmosphere for our girls.

Their friend, Morris, seemed truly happy to be taking these guys out for a fun night at the ballpark. It was evident by the way he interacted with them and talked with them. I overheard conversations where Morris gave advice on basic things like how to keep your money safe while you’re taking a shower. A couple of the men had more physical challenges than the others, but Morris was always patient and spoke genuinely in a soft voice as they walked, sometimes painstakingly slowly, to and from the van together. Never did I see Morris acting impatient or hurrying anyone along. He treated each man with kindness and dignity and then took them back home to a red brick house on a street lined with cottonwood trees, where they live together under Morris’ and others’ round-the-clock care.

I don’t know any of these men or their stories personally. Maybe they have family close by or perhaps their parents died years ago. Maybe they never had the support of a loving family. I have learned they are part of a Community Based Waiver program of the Heart of Texas Mental Health Mental Retardation Center. The Center serves more than 800 people with intellectual and developmental disabilities living in Central Texas — all with their own stories and sets of circumstances. Some are still seeking the right environment to meet their needs and allow them to experience a fulfilling life. Many live in ranch style homes in ordinary neighborhoods with professional care provided through state and federal programs. The lucky ones get a second family in people like Morris.

At the last game of the season, when I found out his name was Morris and that he worked for Heart of Texas MHMR, I also learned that Morris had been bringing these men to watch his granddaughter play ball. I don’t know if they knew her personally or even realized they were there to see her. But on Tuesday, Thursday and sometimes Friday nights, Morris entwined his life with theirs, treating them like, well, family. His granddaughter later told me that Morris often provides activities that give these men the experience of family living. He isn’t just a worker on the clock; he’s a caring human being. And I can’t think of any better example of service.

Morris is an asset to our community and I’m so glad he chose Lake Air Little League as one of his regular outings. If only all of us could be so compassionate and patient toward our fellow man — the world would surely be a better place.

GretchenGretchen Eichenberg is a life-long Wacoan and local high school newspaper and yearbook adviser. There’s nothing she’d rather be doing more than cheering on her favorite softball player or jamming to the tunes of her son’s band. Her family includes husband, Alex, and kids George, 14, and Brigitte, 11, and an energetic Lab named Luke, who thinks he rules the HOT Dog Park. Gretchen mistakenly believes the Eagles are the greatest rock and roll band ever. (Gretchen!  What about the Beatles?!)

The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.

Expressing Thanks in Waco

“There is no other virtue like gratitude – none. I’ve never known a person who was grateful who was, at the same time, mean or small or bitter or hurtful. Not when you’re grateful.” – Fred Craddock

By Ashley Bean Thornton

Isn’t it wonderful that we have a national holiday for the purpose of giving thanks? I am thankful for the wisdom of our fore-parents for establishing this day. It strikes me as profoundly wise to set aside a time to intentionally focus on giving thanks. I wonder — if they hadn’t done it so long ago — would we have the good sense to do it now? (I feel the same way about free lending libraries…but I digress).

I imagine our great-great-great-great grandparents knew this intuitively, but today we have research evidence that gratitude is good for you. According to the Harvard Mental Health Letter (November, 2011), “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” The same article goes on to offer this definition of gratitude, “Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.”

Perhaps because thankfulness brings about that “connection to something larger than ourselves,” I find that there is a link between gratitude and generosity. When I take the time to count my blessings, the urge wells up to want to share those blessings with others. I imagine it is the same for you. With that in mind, I offer this short list of things for which I am thankful along with some ideas for sharing those blessings locally.

I am thankful for…

And finally, I am so very grateful for you – the Act Locally Waco Community. You have made my life rich this year. As I scroll back through the Act Locally Waco Facebook log, and browse through the pictures with the Big Orange Frame, I am almost overwhelmed by all the beautiful faces of you, my extraordinary friends and neighbors of every size and age and description – giving of yourselves, enjoying yourselves, or just keeping on keeping on. I appreciate you. I thank you, and I’m thankful for you. God bless Waco!