by Ellen Filgo
When my older son finally potty trained at age 3 years and 4 months, it was a relief to not have to change the diapers of my articulate, stubborn little boy who clearly could use the toilet (but just didn’t want to). It also meant that I no longer had two children in diapers. That’s right, our family had two in diapers for more than a year! It was a relief on our budget to save that money. Diapers are expensive. They can cost up to $100 a month per baby, which can stretch even a middle class family’s budget.
Now imagine you are the 1 out of 3 families in the country who struggle to afford diapers. There are 5.8 million babies in the United States aged 3 or younger who live in poor or low-income families. Not having enough diapers can mean that babies are left in soiled diapers longer or that parents re-use diapers that are meant to be single use. This can lead to health risks for the babies, such as rashes or infections. A clean supply of diapers is also required at the vast majority of childcare centers. If parents can’t provide them, they may not be able to enroll their children in early childhood programs, or even be able to enter the workforce themselves. Lack of access to diapers can sometimes hinder a parent in getting or staying employed at the job they need in order to become more financially self-sufficient.
There is no state or federal safety net program that allocates money for diapers. You cannot buy diapers with SNAP (food stamps) or WIC (a federal program that helps provide food for women, infants and children). Many existing social service organizations, focusing on hunger, homelessness, abuse or pregnancy try to provide diapers to the families they serve, but they rely on irregular donations and they are often lacking larger sized diapers for toddlers.
This is where the Waco Diaper Bank comes in. Our mission is to collect donations of diapers in order and distribute them to those other social service organizations. We will focus on diapers so that they can focus on their main missions. Our main way of collecting diapers will be through diaper drives. These can be organized by the volunteers working with the diaper bank, or by other people – Girl or Boy Scout groups, schools, fraternities or sororities, businesses – anyone can organize a drive! The Waco Diaper Bank will distribute the donations to our partner social service agencies. If individuals want to donate money, we can take that too! We can use it to purchase diapers in bulk, which can be a cheaper way of collecting diapers.
To kick things off, the Waco Diaper Bank is hosting a community wide December Diaper Drive from the 1st to the 14th of December. All sorts of churches, organizations and businesses have signed up to be drop-off locations for donated diapers. We’ll take everything – all brands, sizes, packages; we’ll even take loose diapers, opened packages or the leftovers from a “diaper cake!” You can find the drop-off locations and more information about the diaper bank at our website www.wacodiaperbank.org .
About a year ago, when I first heard about what a diaper bank was, I immediately knew that Waco needed a diaper bank, for two reasons – well, actually three! First, because of the high rate of poverty in Waco. There are a lot of little bottoms that need to stay clean, dry and healthy here in town. Secondly, because of the existence of so many great social service organizations that are already doing wonderful things. Collaboration is the watchword here in town and the diaper bank model is inherently a collaborative one. And the third reason was something that I knew about Waco, but hadn’t really FELT until we started our diaper drive promotion – Waco is a town with a great big heart. There may be a lot of need in our community, but there is also a lot of love and a willingness to give and share. And that’s why I believe my hopes for the Waco Diaper Bank will ultimately become a reality.
Ellen Filgo is a research librarian at Baylor and a Wacoan of 8.5 years. She loves living in Sanger-Heights with her husband, her stepson and her two energetic little boys. She has been known to get sidetracked researching the answer to a random question casually asked in a Facebook post.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Sara Beth Stoltzfus
I came to Waco from Pennsylvania 6 years ago. I came from studying in a small college town after spending eight years in another small college town. I was thrilled Waco had an Olive Garden.
While I wasn’t initially sold on Waco and Texas (arriving in August did not help), Waco eventually grew to be home. I moved from being an Americorp-like volunteer at a local domestic violence shelter to being employed by that shelter. I found a warm church home. I found a boyfriend who would eventually become my husband. And, I found extra-curricular activities to support my activist passions. After leaving Waco for two years to go to Austin for my Masters of Social Work, I returned with some (or a lot) of hesitancy. Where will I eat? What will I do with my time? Am I too weird now, and will I be able to accept and fit into a town with a more conservative mindset? Sure, I still consider these topics. AND I understand that because I am a white, straight, cisgender, Christian, U.S. citizen individual, it’s MUCH easier for me to stay here, exist here and fight here. It’s much easier to be out about who I am. I unfortunately cannot say that for many of my gay and undocumented friends. That is something we need to change.
But I also have a lot of hope for Waco. There are lots of folks committed to #Wacotown. I get sad when my young and single friends look to move elsewhere. I don’t fault them as Waco is more oriented towards “traditional” families and college folks, not single 30 and 40 year olds-not young and single folks who are gay.
And at the same time, I really think that there is a lot of possibility in Waco. If you have an idea, a dream, a vision, you can (with the help of others) do it! Because we are not already Austin or Dallas, you can take part in the development of something new, something needed. This is not to say that we should throw things together haphazardly because no one else is doing it, because “at least we are doing something.” We should be intentional in our work. Because it’s really exciting if you think about it.
Look at Act Locally Waco and this very blog. Ashley Bean Thornton decided to start a website to connect Wacoans to local events and resources in the community and look at it now! Look at the Waco Poetry Society. A solid group of people meet regularly, share their poetry and create with one another. Go Jenuine! What about the Community Race Relations Coalition, InterWaco and Citizens for Responsible Lending, among others? These are some of the very cool grassroots organizations taking root in Waco.
In 2010, two of my friends got together and created a group advocating for the passage of the Dream Act, a piece of legislation that was designed as a pathway to citizenship for undocumented youth who had lived most of their lives in the United States. That group grew and we did some pretty awesome things together. Recently, a friend commented on an article I shared on Facebook about immigrant women who are participating in a hunger strike, protesting their detention and the inhumane conditions of immigrant detention. She said, “want to do something in solidarity with these women?” I said “yes” and tagged a few friends on the post. Recently, we had an event to write letters of support to the detained women. At least 15 people came! Now we are planning additional meetings for the Waco Immigration Alliance (previously the Waco DREAM Act Alliance). How awesome is that?! One comment turned into something more!
I feel like Waco is on the cusp of so much. I hope it won’t all be gentrification and Whole Foods. I’m not looking for cool coffee shops and new boutiques. I’m looking for a continued fight for justice-and grassroots organizations emerging from Facebook conversations. I’m looking for people saying – publicaly — we love you for who you are: gay, straight, trans, Muslim, undocumented, black, a poetry lover, a chess player-whatever. I know I’m only 6 years a Texan and 4 years a Wacoan. I have much to learn about what Waco has been through and what Waco is currently going through. I know there is much more grassroots work that has been done than what is listed in this post and I am definitely the beneficiary of lots of hard work.
But I am committed to staying, learning, fighting and creating. I’m hopeful. #WacoWeDo.
This Act Locally Waco blog post was written by Sara Beth Stoltzfus. Sara Beth is a Social Worker at MCH Family Outreach through the Methodist Children’s Home. Sara Beth is originally from Pennsylvania but has been living in Texas for more than 6 years, 4 of which have been spent in Waco. Sara Beth enjoys spending time with her husband, James, and dog, Bud, as well as with her church community, Hope Fellowship. Sara Beth also enjoys participating in social justice work with other Wacoans.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
by Saddiq Granger
“…every ghetto
made me regret my days in the new Jerusalem.
you know it’s hot
don’t forget what you got
looking back…” – Lauryn Hill
I often hear banter about the trappings of my culture with no idea of the heritage or tradition enshrined in them, or the adaptations made through generations of struggle. I hear comments made with no idea of the beauty and complex symbolism inherent in cultures that can trace their roots to the dawn of time, that hold the oldest creation stories. The story of my culture is the story of humanity, it is the main tree that all branches are believed to have sprung from.
I am from the “Ghetto” — a word borrowed from the Italians in Venice during a time in which they segregated the living quarters of the Jews — 27th & Berks in Philadelphia to be exact. I’ll provide you with pictures but if you don’t believe me look it up.
Growing up I realized something. The people I was looking at, everyone around me, they were all asleep. No matter how intelligent, they were they were gone as sure as if they had been snoring. So, as a young bull, I engaged in this period where I thought I was the only one who knew what was going on. As an adult, it sometimes seems like I was right.
This lesson was a milestone for me. I learned that consciousness is a choice, and if you have a choice, you have a question.
I was born in the hood; I am ghetto. I know the commandments: look four ways before crossing the street, never let nobody know how much dough you hold, never let them know your next move, never trust nobody. If you don’t know these then you don’t know my side of town; it’s no East Waco. My neighborhood is called the Bad Lands–also known as City Killadelphia. I come from a hood that depends on the drug trade as its main economic support system. These drugs are chef’d in higher income communities where people can afford supplies and have a working knowledge of chemistry. Then they flip’em in large quantities in our hood where they are then sold back to members of upper class (mostly the Caucasian community) and of course local clients (mostly Black or Latino). This serves a few purposes, one of the most important, in my opinion, being that the negative fallout from drug use and selling is not witnessed in places besides “the hood.”
Most of my white peers and I don’t have the same cultural norms to use as a frame of reference. I don’t know very many White people who lived in my community; I saw a sea of Black hopelessness and struggle, people who worked hard and got little for it. As a young child the only correlation I could blame it on was to my skin.
My mom is a hard worker, single parent, straight-A college graduate with a medical degree, who has had more jobs than I can count, most of them what we would call a “hustle” to try and support me and make a better life for herself. I watched and learned from her. My entire life my mother has been a force to be reckoned with it seems. I have never seen her bow to nobody. I learned from these early times in my life to be strong because I had to be, to be self-reliant because there would be no one else. I learned the wealth of achievement and success Africans as a people had contributed to the world. I couldn’t reconcile my feelings of remorse for my condition (skin, ghetto) and this deep love I had for myself and my culture and my family who are all hard working and intelligent. It was a conflict for a long time, until I became conscious of the fact that my skin did NOT equal ghetto. Although I could have told you every fact about Black history, Africa, and the state of our “post-racial” society, I felt this longing to escape, a fleeing from myself and the boxes that (I) had come to mean. It was not about hating being Black, but hating being poor and having some intrinsic sense, even then, that the two were connected.
I began to question what it meant to “Be.”
I am, because…… I am, because, it is? Because it happened? Because I did?
What was shaping me? Was it my external world? My home life? At the time I thought it was a universal consciousness, and now I’m pretty sure it is.
Growing up young gifted and Black in my neighborhood is an experience in isolation. To be and not to be a part of a culture you clearly belong to is an adjustment. It dawns on you slowly that when they look at you, they are not seeing you; that you do not matter. They are seeing your talent, some unspoiled light in a world long gone dark for them. You are their prodigal son, some Black Moses that they silently cry to for release. That dependence — the yearning for release and acceptance — breeds envy and doubt. It causes questions of self-worth, poisons unity. The reality is no one makes it out. No matter how far you run, you can never leave your past.
Sure you leave the neighborhood and “do better,” but then you catch a few words that put you right back where you came from.
There is this perception across the color line that you pick up on early, it usually sounds something like
“if they would just” or “I don’t see why” or ” why do they have to” and is usually finished by something that should have been left unsaid.
There is a misconception that because we have lived so close for so long, our culture should have assimilated by now. There is a lack of realization that cultures of color — no matter how recent or long ago their immigration — are still different cultures. They are cultures equally as valid as a means of self-expression as White culture, and with drawbacks and failings just like White culture. In my opinion White culture has been enshrined as a story we are fed, so sacred that when presented with new evidence we cling to the old like a leech. I can point to more than a few historical examples. A college history class makes you realize how much of our national his-story is fabricated. But, the dis-value placed on African-American history, art, science, medicine and culture has hurt our communication. It has led to these subjects being regarded as a topic for radicals and rabble rousers.
When’s the last time you read a great Black book?
When your hand goes up in history class you hear, “Why don’t they just learn normal history like everyone else,” or ” not everything is about being Black.”
I chuckle, because it is. I am learning that this skin I’m in means something different to everyone and life presents me with the challenge of proving most of them wrong. I am learning that “normal” history is the result of one people conquering another and selling its own version of events as the only one.
I wrestled with how to present this, about how to make understanding possible, and I felt like understanding would be impossible until we understand the fissure in experience. I felt like no matter how inconvenient, this conversation can’t be put on pause, or halted. I can’t stop being who I am or having my heritage because it would be more convenient to be perceived as something other. Everything I am I owe to the hood, my talent and my skills are all born and bred there. I may have learned the king’s English, the violin, and other skills after, but my childhood in the hood taught me that you are never living for yourself, and all things are temporary. How much of me is still the boy from the projects? Is the difference between me and other young kings opportunity, or is there something special about us few, proud, brave who make it out?
Consciousness comes when you stop looking for a new way to do things and make your own, when you start to question why, why you believe the way you do. Think about the world from your perspective and then shift it slightly until you are viewing yourself from across the room; really give it a shot.
No matter what you do, what you think, or who you know — your actions change you. At the end of the day every experience everyone has ever had has led up to you. Essentially, I am because I exist.
Ase.
Saddiq Granger is a native Philadelphian, violinist and aspiring community organizer now residing in Waco, Texas.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Jennifer Alumbaugh, LMFT
“Compassion Fatigue is a state experienced by those helping people or animals in distress; it is an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it can create a secondary traumatic stress for the helper.” ~ Dr. Charles Figley
We’ve all had our experiences with being stressed out—feeling overwhelmed at the end of a long day or a trying week full of deadlines and intense interactions with others. Usually a good night’s rest or a day or two off are enough to recuperate from stress. When that stress builds up over time without proper attention, it leads to burnout which thankfully can usually be relieved by a longer span of time off—like a week vacation or holiday break. Compassion fatigue rests on the more intense end of the spectrum of the impact of caring for others. Sometimes known as “vicarious” or “secondary trauma,” it is the most extreme manifestation of stress resulting from exposure to those who are suffering. It is important to note that compassion fatigue may present after sustained exposure or after only a single event.
In my work providing professional development and support to other professionals in the fields of mental health, social work, medicine, foster care, juvenile justice, family interventions, and community social services I often encounter colleagues who are inclined to underestimate the severity of the effects of compassion fatigue.
There is something so uniquely vulnerable about sitting with children and youth who are hurting, who are suffering.
The general stigma is, “that’s not really an actual thing, and even so, I’ve got it under control.” I know. I thought the same thing for years as I worked as a community mental health clinician in Los Angeles County. For five years I saw children and youth who all had histories of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse; exposure to community and gang violence; or had experience in the system as a foster child or in a juvenile corrections facility or sometimes all of the above. When I first learned about compassion fatigue—in depth and as an actual issue complete with symptomatology—I thought I was fine. I had it together. I used the phrase “self-care” frequently to qualify activities in which I engaged. I went to supervision. I debriefed with colleagues. I had it all under control.
But I didn’t.
As I moved through that first compassion fatigue training, I began to connect the dots of what I was experiencing. I completed a self-evaluation and found myself to be off the charts with compassion fatigue and burnout and in subzero territory with barely any restorative assets in sight. I was in dire straits.
When compassion fatigue hits, we feel it across the landscape of our entire being: cognitive, relational, emotional, spiritual, physical, and behavioral. Just like any other ailment of the mind or body, the symptoms begin to interfere with our normal, everyday functioning. We begin to question not only the meaning of our work, but the existential angst spreads to every area of our lives. Compassion fatigue unchecked has the power to unravel us entirely, even rocking our foundation of our core beliefs. It’s serious. It’s real. It deserves our undivided attention.
Thankfully, there is hope. Like with so many other challenges in our lives, awareness and education are vital first steps. Understanding the pervasive scope of compassion fatigue, how we are personally at risk or affected, and what practical steps are necessary to recover and maintain wellness and to prevent future instances.
Most importantly, we need to be kind to ourselves, honoring the truth that it is not a result of our own short-comings that we may experience compassion fatigue. In fact, “The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water and not get wet,” (Remen, 1996).
After awareness comes action. It is vital that as professionals we intentionally pursue our own wellness. If experiencing compassion fatigue, a season in personal therapy is strongly recommended to address personal and professional circumstances leading to the secondary traumatization. Additionally working through an assets inventory will help to identify specific areas of life that need a boost in self-care practices, people, and pampering. The process is unique for everyone but it is not optional. As Dr. Charles Figley—expert in the field and Director of the Tulane Traumatology Institute–asserts, “It is unethical to not attend to your self-care as a practitioner, because intentional self-care practice prevents harming those we serve.”
Professionally and personally this time of year is often ripe for stress, burnout, and compassion fatigue. While an in-depth training usually spans several hours of teaching, self-evaluations, discussion, and workshopping self-care plans, I couldn’t leave you without a few quick tips for self-care best practices!
Quick Tips for Self-Care Best Practices:
Helpful hint 1: DO spend time with non-traumatized people (this includes family and friends!) who replenish your empathy, joy, and compassion. – Going out with colleagues after work or at lunch is only replenishing if you instate a “No Talking about Work” rule and hold each other accountable!
Helpful hint 2: Set firm boundaries around the time and space you spend with those who deplete your energy, compassion, and nurturing…yes, even/especially when they are your family and friends. It is difficult, not impossible.
Helpful hint 3: If you feel you must spend time with people who deplete you, plan your visit outside of your home, office, or personal space—go to their home, a restaurant, coffee shop, other public venue. This allows you the freedom to leave on your own schedule, avoiding the awkwardness of guests overstaying their welcome in your space.
Helpful hint 4: Set a specific amount of time for your visit and let them know at the beginning that you’ll need to leave by X time. You don’t need to give an explanation for where or why you need to leave, and you don’t need to contrive elaborate fictions. It may sound something like, “Sure let’s grab coffee, I can meet at 1pm and will need to head out by 2pm.”
Self-Care Challenge: Before the stroke of midnight on December 31, 2015, I challenge you to engage in three (3) activities of at least 1 hour each that serve only you. Meaning, you are the only beneficiary of the activity—be it a massage, a walk along a favorite hiking trail, a small gift for yourself, watching the game with friends, getting a sitter for a night out, engaging in a creative/art outlet, or turning off your electronics and going to bed early—whatever resonates with you, do that thing, guilt-free, and practice radical acts of self-love and care.
Jennifer Alumbaugh, MS is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing clinical and professional development consultation services at Enrichment Training and Counseling Solutions. She practiced as a mental health clinician throughout Los Angeles County working with children, youth, and their families from 2007-2012. In Central Texas, Jennifer has worked as a Site Coordinator with Communities in Schools of The Heart of Texas at G.W. Carver Middle School; as an independent consultant and professional development trainer; and conference speaker. In 2016 Jennifer created an implemented a therapeutic creative writing program, Brave Young Voices, at Klaras Center for Families and at the Texas Juvenile Justice Department correctional campus at Mart, TX. Jennifer has extensive experience working with adolescent and adult survivors of psychological and spiritual abuse, trauma (sexual violence, childhood trauma, interpersonal violence); and complex PTSD. These, along with grief and loss work are her areas of specialization. She may be reached at: [email protected] or 254-405-2496.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
by Ashley Bean Thornton
A few weeks ago on a Sunday most of us who read the Waco Trib opened our paper to find a dramatic advertisement – two full pages. The ad expressed a love of Waco and went on to list several beliefs that the signers — more than 100 folks in town, mostly local pastors — hold dear. Not everyone agreed with the beliefs listed in the ad. A group of people who believe differently responded via Facebook posts, letters to the editor and an op-ed piece expressing their own love of Waco and listing their own beliefs. Good for us! I’m sure I don’t need to remind anyone to be thankful for this precious liberty to freely express our widely differing beliefs without fear of being “disappeared.”
We have the right to be divided! But, progress comes from unity. How do we make that paradox work?
I have friends who signed the ad, and I have friends who wrote letters and editorials disagreeing with the ad. Must I choose between them? I profoundly disagree with some people in our community about beliefs that are at the very core of their faith and their identity. Can we still work together to build a stronger Waco?
I generally subscribe to a “live and let live” philosophy. I can be very tolerant when it comes to matters of taste. You like country music, it grates on me a little — but fine, I don’t really care that much. You like the Mavericks, I like the Spurs– it might take me a while, but I can make peace with that.
There comes a point, however, when differences of opinion enter the realm of right and wrong and justice. Who is allowed to marry whoever they want, and who is not? Does a pregnant woman get to be the one who decides if she will carry her pregnancy to term or not? In regard to these kinds of issues my mind is made up. I believe I am right – morally right. That means that to me some of you are wrong. I don’t mean “Wow, that’s an ugly sweater” wrong, but morally wrong, on the wrong side of justice wrong. There comes a point I can no longer “go along to get along,” I have to speak out. Does that mean I can no longer be your friend? Does that mean we can no longer work together on other issues? I worry about that. I don’t want the bitter divisions that seem to be making progress so difficult in our national politics to get in the way of people working together in my own community.
I have had a couple of conversations lately that have shed a little light on this concern. The first conversation was with a new friend. We’ve seen each other’s names for years connected with various community efforts, but we had never really had a talk. She noticed on Facebook that I took a stand that surprised her in regard to Planned Parenthood. She invited me to lunch. Instead of preaching to each other or trying to convince each other to change sides, we simply shared our history with the issue. We talked about what was at the heart of the matter for each of us. It wasn’t a debate. Neither of us changed our minds. We just listened to each other and got to know each other better. I think we parted better friends, despite our deep disagreement about this controversial issue.
The other conversation was with a Pastor friend. We were meeting to discuss job programs and community outreach, but we drifted into a conversation about “The Big Ad.” We talked candidly about some of the areas where our personal convictions are most different from each other. We parted, as we always do, with a hug.
I’m sure these kinds of conversations take place every day, but I don’t want us to take them for granted. They are crucial to the work of our community, and, at the risk of being overly dramatic, I believe they are crucial to the work of democracy. I am deeply thankful for free speech and the freedom to disagree, but if all we know how to do is disagree with each other, we will have a tough time moving forward.
I have reflected a bit on what made these conversations possible. I believe it is that these friends and I know more about each other than just our opinions on a couple of hot button issues. We are complicated to each other. I know, for example, that both these people love Waco. They love the people of Waco. They are working hard. They give generously of their time and energy and creativity to make our community stronger. And so, I can approach a conversation with them – even about a difficult topic – with respect and curiosity instead of with “shields up.” I can be vulnerable to them. I can expose my own mixed feelings without fear that they will use them against me. In both these conversations there was an implied rule that we weren’t trying to change each other, we were genuinely trying to get to know each other more deeply.
Making progress together while holding sacred our right to disagree is complicated. It’s easy for me to stay nested with other folks who believe just like I do and to reduce the people who believe differently to one-dimensional targets. To work together across our differences we have to be complicated to each other. We have to know more about each other than just our points of disagreement. To do that we need to figure out ways to spend some time together, to get to know each other, and to talk…not debate, not negotiate, not persuade…just talk and listen.
This Act Locally Waco blog post is by Ashley Bean Thornton, the Manager of the www.www.actlocallywaco.org website and the editor of the WHOLE Enchilada newsletter. The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco.
If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
(Note: This is Part 2 of a two-part series on Hospice for National Hospice Month. Here is the link to Part 1: National Hospice Month, Part 1: “I don’t want to read about dying!”)
by Tammera Ryan
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” ~ Henri Nouwen
We got to be involved with a patient that touched us. His name was Robert.
Robert had lived a rather interesting life. Throughout his 58 years, circumstances had left him homeless, living on the streets; finding his way where he could, and disconnected from his sister. Although that is important, we won’t dwell on that part of his life’s journey. Because sometimes in life, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.
If you read last week’s blog, you will remember that I said I would share a patient’s story. This is one that makes me proud to work for a not-for-profit hospice, specifically, Providence Hospice. Providence has never had to turn anyone away regardless of payment source. Providence Hospice offers many programs in the community: bereavement support to anyone who needs it, children’s grief programs, a specialized Veteran’s Program, a Pathways program and more.
Now, back to Robert. I mentioned that Robert’s circumstances had left him homeless. He was found by another homeless gentleman laying between two buildings. He was in obvious pain due to a terminal illness, had not been able to have a bath in weeks, had a hard time communicating, and needed help desperately. Somehow, Robert’s friend managed to get him to a local physician’s office. Fortunately, that physician contacted her friend; a Providence Hospice Social Worker. With very few questions asked, the wheels were in motion for Robert to get great care at Providence Hospice Place.
Robert was given a private room at Providence Hospice Place. He got immediate medications to help relieve his pain and received a much needed warm bath in the facility’s state-of-the art bathing system. He got undivided nurse’s attention, and received a hospice physician visit every day he was there. Perhaps just as important, that same social worker who got the call that someone needed help made sure she found him clothing, shoes, and other basic life necessities.
Now that Robert was safe and his physical pain was managed, Robert knew he needed something deeper. Robert had lost his faith. He knew he believed, but he had no way of connecting with his spirituality. With the help of the Providence Hospice Chaplain and through many heartfelt conversations and a complete bearing of his innermost thoughts, he began to reconnect and found his faith again.
After five days of care at Providence Hospice Place, it became necessary for Robert to be moved to a long-term care facility. When it came time to make that move, he was not worried about his new clothes or the few other items he had collected. The one thing he wanted more than anything was to take with him the Bible that had been laying by his bed. Of course, the staff let him take that Bible.
Robert was at peace living in the facility. He enjoyed his meals and the new friendships he made. The Hospice staff who visited him at the nursing facility always found the Bible he had taken with him right beside him every time they visited. They could tell it was being read.
A few more weeks went by and Robert grew weaker and weaker. He continued to thank the Providence Hospice team who took him in, who clothed him, who bathed him. He talked about a sister. One day the nurse sat with Robert helping him to write a letter to his sister.
A few more days went by and on a peaceful night, Robert took his last breath….a Bible laying by his bed. That Bible was given to the hospice nurse who was with him those last moments. Inside the Bible, in feeble hand-writing, was written a name and address. The nurse knew it was the sister he had talked about. The nurse was able to connect with his sister and was able to tell her of how he was at peace, of how he was well cared for during his last months, and of how well he “lived.” That same Bible where her name was written was given to Robert’s sister. She was very thankful because she had lost track of her much loved brother. Robert’s sister eventually took his ashes and had them scattered over his parents’ grave.
Volunteers are an integral part of our hospice agency’s ability to care for patients such as Robert. Medicare hospice guidelines require that at least 5% of the work that hospices provide be done by volunteers. Providence Hospice exceeds these requirements with a great group of highly trained volunteers. If you are looking for a special place to serve using your unique skills and abilities, I hope you will consider volunteer opportunities with Providence Hospice. Our Volunteer Coordinator, who has been with us for over 19 years, is dedicated to finding the right opportunity to match your talent.
His circumstances had left him lonely and disconnected. He touched us! He lived! He mattered! His name was Robert.
Tammera Ryan has worked with Providence Hospice for the past Thirteen years. She has held various roles within the agency including Community Liaison, Executive Director, and Director of Business Development. She has been married for 27 years. Together, she and her husband have raised their two sons and are very happy to have welcomed a daughter – in- law into their family four years ago. Her favorite quote comes from Ghandi, “Be the change you wish you see in the world.”
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Diego Loredo
One of the biggest reasons why college can be stressful is because of final exams. It’s unavoidable. Every student has to take them at the end of the semester (unless your teacher decides to not have one). It can be really stressful studying for these exams, but they’re not that bad if you do the right things.
Final exams are almost here, which always causes students to stress out (myself included). My first semester experiencing college final exams was tough. I wasn’t really prepared and would often be up late at night in my dorm studying for my exam the next morning. But now that I’m a sophomore, I’ve gotten kind of used to finals and have developed my own way of studying for exams.
Review your notes!
I know this seems pretty obvious, but it isn’t something you should underestimate. Some professors do not provide review sheets and just say “your notes are your review sheets.” Trust me, it sucks when that happens. Hopefully this is something that you’ve been doing throughout the semester, if not ask to borrow a friend’s class notes. Read over your notes and maybe compare them with a classmate’s.
Work on the review sheet with your classmates
The more the merrier, right? Although you might prefer to study on your own so that you can focus, studying with a group of classmates has its advantages. You might learn something from your classmates that you might have missed during class. Also, if there is something you didn’t understand, maybe your classmates know and can help you understand. Working on the review sheet with a few classmates is always better in my opinion.
Study early
Don’t wait until the last minute to study for exams. It’s best to study about a week or two before the exam to ensure that you can go over the material as much as possible. Waiting until the night before to study for an exam is the worst thing you can do. I learned this the hard way. During my freshman year, I waited until the day before my final exam for statistics (which is the toughest class I have taken so far). That wasn’t a very smart decision, especially regarding how hard stats was for me, and I ended up getting a D on the exam. I got a C for the class, in my defense I was two points away from a B! Anyway, always make sure you study early on to make sure you don’t miss anything.
Have a friend quiz you
One good method of studying is having a friend quiz you over what will be on the exam. Ask your roommate or a classmate to ask you questions that will be on the exam. Keep track of those you get right and those you get wrong. Doing this will give you a sense of what you need to study and what you already know and don’t need to study as much. Do this several times until you are confident enough to take the exam. This will also help you memorize material for the exam.
Relax!
This is probably the most important thing to remember when studying for exams. Just relax! Don’t stress too much over exams, overthinking it will only hurt your chances of getting a good grade. There’s also such a thing of studying too much. Take a few breaks while studying. Just stay calm and be confident!
Exams can be intimidating, but if you study properly then you should do well. However, don’t get discouraged if you get a bad grade on one or more of your exams. It happens to all students, just think of what worked for you and what didn’t work and use that to come back stronger next semester. These last few weeks of the semester are always hectic, with final projects being due and studying for finals, but as long as you stay calm and study properly you should be fine. Best of luck!
Diego Loredo is a sophomore at the University of North Texas. He is majoring in public relations. He graduated from University High School in 2014. Although he is still not quite sure what exactly he wants to do, he thinks he wants to work somewhere in sports PR (preferably soccer or college football). His hobbies include playing soccer and golf. He is 19 years old.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these Aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Pam McKown
What does it mean to be a woman? For some it means you calmly usher children to school, engage in a productive day at work, and then settle in safely at home with family to rest peacefully before doing it again.
Yes, this is the reality for some women, but for many women life looks different. For some it means you look as though you have it all together, but inside there is a battle being waged that includes feelings of guilt, insecurity, fear and vulnerability, and regret for mistakes made. For some women life looks like illness, death, loneliness, depression, or anxiety. For some women, it feels like you have sacrificed everything and you have nothing. You find yourself homeless and striving to find a safe place to sleep while wondering “How did this happen?” You could be secretly planning to leave an abusive partner, questioning how you will make it, or what freedom will look like. You may be trying to convince yourself, “It isn’t so bad here…” even though you know it is. For some of us the story of our lives may include any and all of these things.
Take Heart Ministries (THM), a new non-profit here in Waco, is working to connect women of all walks of life through the uniqueness that makes us women. Our mission is to build dignity, improve health, and restore hope to women who are homeless or in transition by providing them with female hygiene products.
See…women may all look different, feel different, be different and have different stories, but the one thing we share is that fact that we all have dealt with menstruation. Take Heart Ministries hopes to address the needs of homeless women by providing a month’s supply of tampons, pads, cleansing wipes, a box of granola bars and bottled water in a purple backpack called a “Love Tote.” What possibly could some tampons or pads mean to a woman who has nothing? It’s not going to feed her; it’s not going to clothe her; it’s not going to sustain her. But, at Take Heart Ministries we believe it will help her maintain her health and restore her dignity. It might help her stand tall with their face lifted and say, “I’m going to overcome.” And let’s be honest…we all long for that.
As women we all share the physical fact of menstruation. Take Heart Ministries seeks to build on that physical similarity to unite women of this community in a genuine authenticity that comes from being honest with ourselves and other women about our stories. Because if I’m honest, I have an understanding of the need to be loved deeply. I have my own feelings of loneliness, depression, feeling unknown and without purpose. I have made choices to give myself “love” or “happiness” through excessively drinking alcohol, sex, an addiction to pornography, battles with postpartum depression and infidelity in my marriage. These things gave me an immediate outlet to give my love to something or someone but continually left me empty and longing.
I have felt out of control in anger, addiction, sadness, guilt and isolation. Though the battle has been won and my head has been lifted, I still feel plagued at times with the lessons that I learned from this time. Even now, when things get tough, I face a strong urge – not return to the behaviors – but to revert back to the safe place of shame.
What does this mean? It means that in order to share a model for authentically loving others, we have to get real and honest. It means your story and my story are not perfect, but they also are not over! If we as women unite in brokenness and authenticity, love can heal what hurt divides. Mercy is waiting on the other side of our honesty. This is the very heart of Take Heart Ministries: to be honest with our own stories in order to share them. In doing so, we relate in the foundation of being a woman and become available to show God’s redeeming love to others by living out the very redemption He has given us.
Our hope is to engage you in this conversation, to challenge the women in this community to let down the walls that divide us, to join hands in serving and loving each other, and in recognizing the value that we all have simply by being uniquely ourselves. Take Heart Ministries would love to share our heart with you and groups that you are involved in. We currently have community partners that are distributing our Love Totes. We would love to see how we could provide that gift to your agency or group. It is a small gesture that relieves a woman of one burden she is carrying. Check us out at www.takeheartministry.org and feel free to contact me about how you can become involved in the life changing work taking place here.
Pam McKown is a Clinical Social Worker who provides individual therapy to those dealing with mental health or substance abuse issues at Journey Counseling Center. She is the Co-Founder of Take Heart Ministries. She is a long time native of Waco. She has a passion for social justice and journeying with people through life and finding true meaning and hope. She also is highly passionate about her family and the Baylor Bears.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
by Florence Gassler Scattergood
Choruses love to sing. That’s why they exist. Singers enjoy the way vocal exercises soothe our being, improving our technique to enable us to express ourselves with greater beauty and ease. We are drawn to poetry in the lyrics, increasing our capacity for empathy and understanding of world around us. The freedom and joy of uniting our best voices, our best selves, with those around us who feel the same are both inspiring and exhilarating for singers of all ages.
Choral singing is a special experience which enables a group of strangers to unite with one purpose. Since talent is no respecter of socio-economic status, physical or mental capacity, or religious or political conviction, a choir is the place where all participants can be valued for their individual commitment to the collective production of beautiful music.
There is a unique sense of belonging and well-being that comes from singing in a choir. There is a physical sensation of connectivity in a room where all are focused on using their voices in the same way at the same time. Adding beautiful melodies, pleasing harmonies, and well-crafted lyrics to this commitment to vocal unity elevates the experience to choral artistry.
Special relationships develop within a choral setting; director with singers, singers with singers, and singers with the audience. Lifelong friendships and unexpected collaborations fuel and motivate all involved. Studies even show that those involved in choral singing early in life become significantly more active in philanthropy, civic affairs, and volunteerism as adults than the general population.
I have had the delight and pleasure of spending my professional career immersed in these experiences surrounded by singers. As a choir member and an ensemble director, I can testify that not every minute of every rehearsal generates the perfect moment of musicality or significant meaning, but the sharing of the vision and the striving toward excellence always propels us as we move toward our goal of becoming musically literate vocal artists. The process is the daily bread which feeds my soul. To my delight it is also feeding the souls of those who are eavesdropping.
This fall a unique partnership began between the Youth Chorus of Central Texas and Stilwell Retirement Residence. With the gracious hospitality of Joel Wright, the Executive Director of Stilwell Retirement Residence, and the generous support of the Stilwell staff, fifty young choristers from roughly 20 schools are welcomed every Monday afternoon to their fine facility for weekly practice. It is also when and where we build commUNITY.
Singers and their parents from all over the city converge on Stilwell for rehearsal and are greeted by new friends. When I enter the building, the room is set up and ready for our lively singers who range in age from third through tenth grade. Our Baylor and WISD interns arrive early to prep for the singers as does our pianist. Stilwell staff are ready to help with our logistical and clerical needs.
We rehearse adjacent to the dining room and residents regularly peek in to see and hear us. Sometimes we venture into the dining room and sing newly polished songs. The ladies and gentlemen are a gracious and supportive audience. They tell us stories of their personal musical adventures and encourage and compliment our efforts. We have shared Halloween goodies with them and are sure Christmas will include some sort of celebration as well. Several YCCT members and parents have made inquiries as to volunteer opportunities with our new friends. This is a delightful development.
We arrived at this partnership out of necessity. The YCCT is a community chorus; we are not affiliated with any particular school, church, or major institution. We do not have a permanent home. It is important for us to have a central location which is welcoming to our culturally diverse membership. The Stilwell family has welcomed us with open arms and the YCCT families enjoy coming to Stilwell. Our parents can wait for their children on site or visit the public library or do some shopping nearby.
We entered into this partnership for the purpose of having a rehearsal space and have actually found a home, complete with enthusiastic and nurturing eavesdroppers who share our joy and passion for feeding souls through song.
Since 2013, YCCT has served over 100 singers from approximately 25 schools providing music for the PACK of HOPE, Meals and Wheels, Waco Cultural Arts Festival, and the Interfaith Holocaust Remembrance Service. The choir received the 2014 Model of Unity Award from the Community Race Relations Coalition of Waco. Please visit www.youthchorusofcentraltexas.org for information on SPRING AUDITIONS.
Florence Gassler Scattergood and her husband Bob live in her childhood home with their cat Cougar. She is currently an adjunct lecturer at Baylor University and is co-founder/director of the Youth Chorus of Central Texas with Lynne Gackle. Florence enjoys reading, cooking, traveling, and socializing with the neighbors. For her professional bio visit www.youthchorusofcentraltexas.org.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
by Tammera Ryan
You are probably saying to yourself right now, “Why do I want to read this? Hospice is a scary word. I don’t want to think, talk, or read about dying.” Just so you know, I agree! However, I have been caring for patients and families for the last 13 years with Providence Hospice, and I would be doing them and you a huge disservice if I didn’t take this opportunity to help dispel some of the myths related to hospice care. Those patients and families have taught me a great deal about “LIVING!”
In 1992, the month of November was designated to raise awareness of hospice within the community. During this month, hospices across the country are reaching out to raise awareness about important care issues for people coping with serious illness.
Our staff has found that when meeting with patients and families, there are common misconceptions**:
Misconception: Hospice means there’s nothing more that doctors can do for you.
Truth: Hospice does not mean giving up hope. Hospice physicians are experts in pain management, symptom, control, and other techniques to relieve suffering. (Did you know that Providence Hospice is contracted with a massage therapist who can help patients?) The hospice team also includes nurse, aides, social workers, chaplains, and volunteers.
Misconception: Hospice is only for cancer patients.
Truth: That was the case when hospice started 40 years ago, but today more than half of hospice patients have other diseases and illnesses such as congestive heart failure, end stage renal disease, and other chronic diseases.
Misconception: Hospice is for the very last weeks or days of life.
Truth: Under Medicare, Medicaid, and most private health insurance, hospice is available to patients with a terminal illness with a life expectancy of 6 months or less. If patients outlive that, they can often stay on hospice care or go off and come back on when needed. People sometimes live longer than expected because they get good comfort care by a team of professionals who view the patient as a person, not as a disease.
Misconception: Hospice helps you die more quickly and prevents patients from being able to talk or know what’s happening.
Truth: Hospice can open time and space for emotional connection, spiritual growth or accomplishing a goal. Hospice’s role is to provide comfort care and symptom management to support quality of life – not to hasten the end of life. Additionally, hospice doctors and nurses are up to date on the latest medications for pain and symptom relief and have a high success rate in managing pain to a level that is acceptable to the patient. It is the goal of hospice care for patients to be as comfortable and alert as they desire.
Misconception: Hospice is a place.
Truth: Hospice is a philosophy and a set of practices focused on comforting patients, supporting families and helping people live as fully as possible in the time they have left. It is true that most hospice services are delivered in a personal residence. However, hospice care can also be delivered in assisted living facilities and nursing homes. Some hospice agencies do have dedicated in-patient facilities as well. (Did you know that Providence Hospice opened Providence Hospice Place, our area’s first and only in-patient hospice care facility? This is an eight-bed unit specifically designed to offer an intensive level of care for patients who are experiencing severe symptoms requiring daily interventions.)
Misconception: There are additional expenses when hospice gets involved.
Truth: Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurances cover all services, supplies, and medications related to the life-limiting illness. (Did you know that Providence Hospice is a not-for- profit hospice provider and has never turned anyone away due to inability to pay.)
Our team gets asked many, many questions and we are always happy to respond. With close to 20 years of providing expert hospice care in this community, the Providence Hospice staff is extremely knowledgeable and phenomenally compassionate while meeting the needs of our hospice patients and their families.
I hope that by reading this, you are not as frightened of the “hospice word” as you might have been at the beginning. I believe life is a journey; every breath is important. In the words of Dame Cecily Saunders, founder of the Modern Hospice Movement, “You matter because you are you, and you matter to the end of your life.”
I mentioned in the first paragraph how 13 years of working with the great staff, patients and families of Providence Hospice has taught me about “LIVING”. Several years ago I knew a man who had been diagnosed with a devastating disease. He had four children, the youngest of whom is my incredible husband. As I talked with my father-in-law about hospice care in his kitchen at a small wooden table he had built, he looked me in the eye and told me that all he wanted was to be kept comfortable – Hospice made that happen. He told me that I needed to cherish every day of my life and to always be thankful for what I have regardless of how much or how little that is. I made a promise to him that day. I told him I would “LIVE” every moment and be thankful for what I have…….. every day. I hope you will too!
Tammera Ryan has worked with Providence Hospice for the past Thirteen years. She has held various roles within the agency including Community Liaison, Executive Director, and Director of Business Development. She has been married for 27 years. Together, she and her husband have raised their two sons and are very happy to have welcomed a daughter – in- law into their family four years ago. Her favorite quote comes from Ghandi, “Be the change you wish you see in the world.”
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
** Myths and Truths adapted from American Cancer Society brochure “Hospice: A Special Kind of Caring” and Fox News.com, “5 Myths About Hospice Care.”