by Tabitha Ferguson
Most people think of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, as being something that happens to someone after they return from war…but, the trauma that causes PTSD can be a lot closer than we think, and the PTSD caused by this kind of trauma is the most marginalized and stigmatized silent-growing epidemic in society. People are quick to throw out a diagnosis like bipolar disorder, depression, personality disorder, anxiety disorder, etc. without really doing a thorough assessment and understanding what physically happens to someone who experiences trauma.
Here are some examples of trauma that can cause PTSD: childhood trauma, abuse, neglect (not being wanted, verbal, psychological abuse and bullying, divorcing parents, growing up with substance abuse parents), sexual abuse, domestic violence, loss and abandonment through death or divorce.
PTSD is an invisible illness with symptoms including uninvited memories (flashbacks), deregulated emotions such as anxiety and fear, depression, anger, chronic heartache, insomnia, and night terrors all at once or sporadically. I’ve lived with this disorder my whole life and although I’m no longer broken or suffer with constant symptoms, I still have to address my bruises to maintain my freedom. There was a time, however, that my mind was plagued with uninvited memories and deregulated emotions. This paralyzed me.
I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety since I was as young as 10 years old. I smoked my first cigarette at the age of 11 years old and turned to food for comfort. I’ve suffered with eating disorders, drug addictions, nicotine addictions, self-harm and suicide attempts — all because I didn’t know how to cope with not being loved the proper way. People just assumed I was born with mental illnesses since my mother projected those lies on me to collect a disability check on me. The consequences of her actions retraumatized me, and I believed the lie that something was wrong with me for over 30 years.
When I was moved to two different treatment facilities the summer before my sophomore year, all I remember was the pain I felt because I blamed myself for all the mistreatment in my life. I couldn’t speak fluently about what all I experienced my 15 short years of life back then. All I could do was hurt, medicate, and misbehave. I also believed there was something wrong with me and the same message reverberated in my mind over and over until it took root. “I’m unworthy. I’m not lovable. There must be something wrong with me because my own family doesn’t even want me.” People just saw the behavior attached to those thoughts without knowing the depth of my pain and loaded me up on psych medication as they pushed me straight into the judicial system. I was raised by the systems, and I will never know what it’s like to have loving, supportive parents. I’ve had to grieve this reality as I learned how to parent my two boys alone.
A little over 10 years ago my life was forever changed when someone gave me Joyce Meyer’s book, “Battlefield of the Mind.” For the first time in my life the seed of hope was planted in my heart as I read someone’s story similar to mine. Joyce Meyer also offered a solution that wasn’t your typical quick fix this world tries to offer. At the beginning of my recovery, I was simply just learning how to self-regulate my emotions and function in society. I had no clue that I suffered with PTSD because I was trapped in all of the lies growing up. As I’ve mentioned before, everyone else minimized the abuse and trauma I lived through, so I minimized it as way to cope with it. This was not healthy. I found ways to escape the trauma by dissociation which caused suppressed memories that I’ve had to finally deal with as they’ve surfaced over the years. I also suffer with memory loss in certain seasons of my life growing up. Joyce’s book unlocked the prison in my mind I suffered with my most of my life. I began a new journey with God and I began to see change.
This was the beginning of my newfound life, and I began processing the hurt I kept locked away for so long. I began to take a look at the lost little girl within me and addressed the wounded child from within.
Here I am 10 plus years later moving past a painful past and traumatic childhood as I’ve grieved all my losses. All it ever boiled down to was this – I wanted to be loved and accepted. I wanted to hear something positive about myself instead of all the voices around me that kept restating that I wasn’t loved and valued. I’ve spent more years taking care of the mentally ill mother who abused me growing up than I did receiving love. I’ve also stood in the way of my mother who tried to commit suicide and visited her in mental institutions instead of being loved and supported throughout all of my own pain and suffering. This isn’t something medication can fix. This was a wounded soul that only God could heal. Since then, I have had to learn how to simply receive love from the godly women that God has put in my path of restoration.
The reality I lived in and survived is still happening to young ones today. Backgrounds like mine make one a prime target for human trafficking and the street life. Mental health agencies need to understand the depth of pain and suffering a person has gone through before just throwing a medication at dysfunction and abuse. I’m convinced our modern day slavery is mental health, and it’s evident that we have a crisis that needs to be addressed holistically if we ever expect to see real change and freedom. We weren’t designed to carry the burdens of this world. Because someone’s transparency changed the direction of my life, I share openly unapologetically to give others the same hope I received over 10 years ago.
My name is Tabitha Ferguson and I was born and raised in this city. I share my story openly to help others find the same hope, healing, and restoration I found 11 years ago from a traumatic childhood.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Laura Greenstein
Mental health conditions do not discriminate based on race, color, gender or identity. Anyone can experience the challenges of mental illness regardless of their background. However, background and identity can make access to mental health treatment much more difficult. National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month was established in 2008 to start changing this.
Each year millions of Americans face the reality of living with a mental health condition.
Taking on the challenges of mental health conditions, health coverage and the stigma of mental illness requires all of us. In many communities, these problems are increased by less access to care, cultural stigma and lower quality care.
America’s entire mental health system needs improvement, including when it comes to serving marginalized communities. When trying to access treatment, these communities have to contend with:
- Language barriers
- A culturally insensitive system
- Racism, bias and discrimination in treatment settings
- Lower quality care
- Lower chance of health care coverage
- Stigma from several angles (for being a minority and for having mental illness)
These are all in addition to the usual road blocks. Many cultures also view mental health treatment as a luxury, considering symptoms a “phase” that will eventually pass. These harmful perceptions of mental illness can further isolate individuals who desperately need help.
We can all help ignite change against these disparities and fight stigma this Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. It starts with learning more about mental health and informing your community.
Consider Giving A Presentation
Starting conversations about mental health in your community may feel intimidating—especially if your community views mental illness as a personal fault or weakness. But the more we talk about mental illness, the more normalized it will become. And NAMI is here to help!
Consider giving NAMI presentations to your community, like Sharing Hope for the African American community and Compartiendo Esperanza for the Hispanic and Latino communities. These presentations go over the signs and symptoms of mental health conditions as well as how and where to find help. If neither of these presentations fit your background, feel free to use them as models to create your own presentation tailored to your community’s needs.
Emphasize Treatment
Make sure to stress the importance of a culturally competent provider. These mental health professionals integrate your beliefs and values into treatment. To find a provider that does this, you may have to do a significant amount of research. In addition to searching online, you can also ask trusted friends and family for recommendations or ask for referrals from cultural organizations in your community (like your local AKA Chapter).
In your first session, make sure to ask any questions you may have about the professional’s cultural competence. For example:
- Do you have any experience treating someone from my background?
- Have you had any cultural competence training?
- How would you include aspects of my identity into my care?
Be confident when disclosing relevant information about your beliefs, culture, sexual orientation and/or gender identity that could potentially affect your care. Your provider will play a vital role in your treatment, so make sure you feel comfortable and can communicate well with them before committing to them. Remember: If you feel like your provider doesn’t understand you, it’s okay to leave. Cultural competency is very beneficial to effective treatment. It might take a bit of effort to find the right fit, but recovery is worth it.
Share Your Story
When a person experiences symptoms of mental illness, one of the most helpful and comforting feelings is knowing that they’re not alone. It can be incredibly reassuring to know in this moment right now, someone else is going through similar struggles as you are—regardless of where they are, who they are, or how they identify.
If you’re ever feeling isolated or that your community doesn’t understand mental illness, explore story-sharing platforms like Ok2Talkand You Are Not Alone. On these platforms, everyday people write about their deepest struggles with mental illness and their hopes for recovery. If you feel comfortable, post your thoughts and feelings about or experiences with mental illness—it’s rewarding to know you are helping others feel less isolated.
Minority Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to raise awareness and stop stigma in diverse communities. It’s time to improve the harsh realities minority communities face when it comes to mental illness treatment. In fact, it’s long overdue.
Laura Greenstein is a passionate writer with a personal mission of raising mental health awareness. In her current role, she writes for the blog and Advocate, assists the editorial process and provides any needed support to the Marketing & Communications team. A travel enthusiast, Laura has been to six continents and previously worked with Traveler’s Today magazine. She holds a B.A. in English with a concentration in creative writing and a minor in journalism from North Carolina State University.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Cynthia Cunningham
It has been a sad week. Two local suicides and two celebrities suicides. Those are just the ones that we heard about. I had not planned to write on this topic this month. After all September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. However, lives are too precious to put on a schedule! The need to talk about this issue is growing. I want to ask you to talk openly about this subject with those around you. It is time we are honest and talk about suicide. By doing so, we eliminate the stigma that prevents people from seeking help.
I was told that in Waco we have at least three to four suicides each week. Those are just the ones that can be confirmed. What about the questionable deaths when no note is left behind? What about deaths from overdoses? Were they accidental? On purpose? The numbers of lives lost to suicide could be much higher.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention states that suicide rates in the United States has grown by 25% from 1999 to 2016. The United States lost 45,000 people in 2016 to suicide. More than the number of lives lost to car accidents that year. More than the number of lives lost to homicide that year. Need a clearer picture? That is the number of people who populate one-third of Waco. That would be equal to losing the population of Hewitt, Robinson, Beverly Hills, West, China Spring and Woodway COMBINED!! Think about all those families who were effected. Not to mention their friends, co-workers, etc.
We are past the point of being saddened by this epidemic. It will not stop unless each of us does our part! Yes, YOU can prevent a suicide! Please take the steps to learn how!!
Myths of Suicide:
Suicides happen without warning: Those who attempt or die by suicide have often communicated their distress to at least one person. This communication is not often direct, so it is important to learn the warning signs.
Talking about suicide puts the thought into their head: Talking about it allows the person the opportunity to talk about issues they are struggling with in their lives. It lets them know that their pain is seen and heard. They begin to learn that they are not alone. Again, it is so important to learn the warning signs.
Those who threaten to take their lives are just seeking attention: No, this is a cry for help. Yes, they need attention in the most desperate way. Let us give it to them! Learn the warning signs so you do not miss this cry.
Telling someone to “Cheer up” or “Snap out of it” stops suicide: WRONG! This actually makes them feel misunderstood and ashamed of their feelings. (i.e. it makes it worse!!) Would you tell someone with a broken leg to snap out of it? Do you think that works? Educate yourself of the warning signs!
Warning Signs:
- Talking about wanting to die
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Withdrawing and isolating themselves
- Being agitated, anxious or reckless
- Being in unbearable pain
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
- Increased use of drugs and/or alcohol
- Having rage or seeking revenge
- Showing extreme mood swings
- Looking for ways to kill themselves
Learning the Warning Signs is just a start. Educate yourself as much as possible on suicide prevention and mental illness. You never know when you might be in the position to help save someone.
If nothing else remember this: ASK
A = Ask if they are having thoughts of killing themselves
(be point blank – they are hoping someone sees their pain)
S = Stay with them and keep safe
(keep yourself safe, move away from weapons and never leave them alone until help arrives)
K = Know who to call
(you’re not expected to be the expert…call the experts: 911 or 800-273-8255: put this # in your phone!)
Take advantage of Mental Health First Aid Classes! You know how to perform CPR in a crisis but do you know what to do in a mental health crisis? Contact NAMI Waco for Adult Mental Health First Aid and HOTRMHR for Youth Mental Health First Aid. Be Prepared!
And if you are struggling…Please know that you are not alone! Reach out for help…YOU are important!!
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line: 741741
- Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 press 1
- Veterans Crisis Text Line: 838255
- LGBTQ Crisis Line: 1-866-488-7386
- LGBTQ Crisis Text Line: Text TREVOR to 1-202-304-1200
Cynthia Cunningham, a Wacoan since age 2, is the Executive Director for NAMI Waco. She lives with her husband of 28 years, Bobby, and two spoiled dogs and one royal cat! Her passion is educating others about mental health. She can be contacted at: www.NAMIWaco.com
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Samantha Williams
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” How many times did you hear the question when you were five years old? When you were in High School? Sometimes we don’t achieve these lofty goals and that is okay!
Many of us have heard about the “grieving stage” regarding mental health conditions. Normally this is associated with the family members and the loved ones of those who have the mental illness. Whether it’s referring to the stress experienced providing care or finally reaching the realization that one dear to them may never accomplish the expectations of a normal life.
Less often does one hear of the grief experienced by the actual individual living with the condition. While it’s unclear if this is due to shame or disappointment, it is a very real aspect of any chronic ailment and mental illness is no exception of this.
Personally, I have kept what I feel to be the most discouraging facet of my condition to myself. I hate feeling like a burden to others and, frankly, I feel embarrassment when I give the subject thought. I am approached more often by former school mates that are asking after my wellbeing and what I have done since graduation than I’d like. I consistently flounder when I’m in the spotlight of those who were my peers during my teen years. Nearly all of them went off to college, landed prestigious jobs, and are proud parents to wonderful children while comparably I have stagnated, stayed in my hometown and often struggled with even going grocery shopping. How can I even begin to explain something like this when I sometimes labor to share something as mundane as my current emotion?
Due to medical limitations many of us living with mental illness find we are often unable to achieve lifelong aspirations. For some the cause can be the crippling anxiety that prevents them from pursuit of college education, the inability to cope with crowded places, and/or the disabling lack of confidence in ourselves.
Sometimes there is a profound remorse surrounding the perceived hardship our “failure” places upon our loved ones. We avoid discussing it and forgo the cathartic experience that often accompanies sharing our troubles. If sharing your personal grief is something that you have felt conflict about, I strongly encourage you to reach out. Holding in what we perceive as short-comings can fester within, inciting other hardships associated with mental illness to come forward.
It is extremely important to pause and take inventory of your accomplishments. Despite my own chafing and impatience at performing exercises like deep breathing or meditation, I have found this small activity to be more uplifting than I thought I would.
Gather up a pen and some paper. Ask yourself “What have I done that I am proud of today”? If one of your answers is along the lines of actually getting dressed or brushing your teeth, don’t be discouraged. I sometimes count myself lucky to get out of bed some days.
Follow up the first question with “What have I done that I am proud of this week?”
Next question- “…this month?”
And finally “What have I done that I am proud of this past year?”
Remember it is very important to take time to acknowledge how far you have come! You may not be working on your master’s degree or be the proud parent of an honor student, but you have likely come farther than you realize.
If you had asked me when I was in the thick of my worst depressive episode if I would be living in stability with my bipolar disorder, I likely would have laughed at you. While there are definitely setbacks, rough patches, and upsets in my life, I am profoundly appreciative to have come so far.
No matter where you are within your journey to living a satisfying life, the loss of your dreams are not the end. You are stronger than you know and are deserving of praise. The grief you experience in relation to your illness does not define you. It is not who you are as a person or reflective of how you will be for the rest of your life.
Samantha Williams, a Certified Peer Support Specialist, is proud to volunteer with NAMI Waco as a public speaker in local Middle and High Schools, and as a support group facilitator. With an ardent need to “pay forward” the kindness shown during the early stages of her bipolar disorder, she is extremely passionate regarding mental health conditions. She shares her home with a patient husband, three demanding feline roommates, and an ornery dog.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Cynthia Cunningham
Stig·ma: /ˈstiɡmə/ noun
A mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.
Synonyms: shame, disgrace, dishonor, ignominy, opprobrium, humiliation, (bad) reputation
Can you imagine a world where you were shamed for having a diabetes? Ostracized for having cancer? Can’t imagine this ever happening? Is this because you know that people would speak up and demand to be treated with compassion? So why do we not treat mental illnesses the same? Michelle Obama said “At the root of this dilemma is the way we view mental health in this country. Whether an illness affects your heart, your leg or your brain, it’s still an illness, and there should be no distinction.”
Well, we have an estimated 26,884 people in Waco who are living with a mental health condition. Who is speaking up for them? Hear any demands for compassion for them? No? And why not?
The answer is Stigma. That one thing that prevents people from taking control of these illnesses. Stigma causes people to hide their illness and families to hide what is happening within their homes.
Those living with symptoms mental illness do not feel that they can safely speak openly about what is going on with their health. They fear being judged. Even shunned. So this leads them to do nothing about it. They don’t seek treatment and suffer in silence.
Sometimes when things get out of control, they try to make things feel better by self-medicating with drugs and/or alcohol. They just want to feel better. And for short amount of time, they feel better. However that high never lasts. They must take more and more of the substance to reach that euphoric feeling. Before they realize it, they are addicted to this vicious cycle.
Why would a person feel that their only choice to address their mental health condition is in this manner? Stigma. That fear of being treated poorly by those around them. These are the lengths that some take to avoid being labeled. They feel that there is something about them that is shameful. No other health condition has this stigma attached to it.
Families experience this implied shame because of their loved ones health condition. They feel that they cannot talk about what is happening within their family. They deal with this in silence.
How can they tell anyone what they are going through? Speaking up would allow everyone to know what is happening within the family. Again, that feeling that something they are going through is disgraceful takes over. Even though they know they did nothing wrong and this is an illness.
But they are not alone. The community does nothing to help eliminate this stigma. In fact, they continue to fuel this humiliation by using mental health conditions as something to joke about.
For example, as I write this, our weather went from warm and sunny to cold and grey. As a result, social media is filled with memes of “mother nature is bipolar” and the like. When you actually think of this, it doesn’t even make sense. Bipolar is a condition that is characterized by both manic and depressive episodes. How can weather be depressed? Makes no sense. It means that we are not using the correct words. And by using the incorrect words we further that stigma of mental illness.
So what can you do to do your part to stop stigma?
See the person and not the illness! Never identify a person by their illness. Recognize the correct way to identify someone: “Suzie is my daughter” instead of “Suzie is my bipolar daughter.” See the difference? “Suzie” is a person, who does not deserve to be labeled by a health condition. This is called person-first language.
Don’t be afraid of people with mental illness! Yes, sometimes their behavior can be unusual but regardless what the media tells you, most people with mental health conditions are NOT violent. In fact, they are often the victim of violent acts.
Don’t blame someone for their mental illness! Just like no one would choose to have cancer, no one would choose to have a mental illness. Stop saying things like “snap out of it” or “you just need to get over it.” Would you tell this to someone with a broken leg? You cannot just turn an illness off!
Don’t use disrespectful language! “She is so bi-polar” Speaking like this, you are using negative language and offending people. This is part of the problem and not a solution!
Be a Role Model! You can show others how to stop this stigma by modeling proper language and behaviors associated with mental illness. Teach them what you have learned.
We can all learn from former President Bill Clinton when he said “Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shames all.”
So I’ll leave you with this: Speak a little kinder. Support those around you who are dealing with mental health conditions. Educate yourself about mental illnesses. Share your knowledge with others. We can all do our part to eliminate stigma in our community.
Cynthia Cunningham, a Wacoan since age 2, is the Executive Director for NAMI Waco. She lives with her husband of 28 years, Bobby, and two spoiled dogs and one royal cat! Her passion is educating others about mental health. She can be contacted at: www.NAMIWaco.com
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
(During these last few weeks of December we will be reprising the Top 10 Most Opened Blog Posts for 2018 from the Act Locally Waco blog. I couldn’t possibly pick my favorites – so I used the simple (cop out?) approach of pulling up the 10 blog posts that got the most “opens” according to our Google Analytics. It is an intriguing collection that gives at least a little insight into the interests and concerns of Act Locally Waco readers. I hope this “Top 10” idea inspires you to go back and re-read your personal favorites. There have been so many terrific ones… If you would like to see the Top 10 according to Google Analytics, here’s the link: Top 10 Most Opened Blog Posts of 2018. Merry Christmas! — ABT)
by Berkeley Anderson and Geneece Goertzen
When someone gets mugged, we don’t say, “That suit you were wearing was a bad idea. It just screams ‘I’ve got money, rob me.’ We don’t ask victims, ‘What did you expect to happen when you had a wallet full of money? You were just asking to be robbed.’”
So why do Sexual Assault victims face a barrage of questions that imply they are to blame for their own attack? “Were you drinking? Why did you go out alone? Why did you let your attacker into your room?”
And, of course, “Well, what were you wearing?”
The impact of these questions is difficult to quantify, but it shows up in survivors blaming themselves for their own assault. It shows up in rapists getting away with what should be easily prosecuted cases. It shows up in negative mental health outcomes for victims. It shows up in victims fearing to report the assault to police.
When assessing sexual violence, the only question that matters is consent. But rape culture–the normalization of sexual violence– causes some people to assert that clothing matters, shifting the focus off the obvious reason for the assault: that the attacker was a rapist.
April is recognized as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month which raises awareness about sexual violence, educates communities and individuals on how to prevent it, supports and empowers survivors, and strengthens the culture of consent.
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, consent is an enthusiastic, ongoing, clearly communicated affirmative agreement to engage in various sexual or non-sexual activities. Past consent does not equal current consent. The absence of a “no” does not equal a “yes.” A person who is impaired cannot give consent. A child cannot consent. When sex is consensual, it means that the involved parties have granted permission. Non-consensual sex is rape.
Sexual Assault affects people across all demographics. Although rape and sexual assault are often thought of as being committed by strangers in a dark alley, that is seldom the case. Most victims of sexual assault know their attacker. This is especially true for children. Neither is rape limited to young adult females. Women, men, and children of both genders experience rape and sexual assault. It happens in heterosexual relationships, and it happens among the LGBTQ community. It happens to the young and the old. It happens to the rich and poor. It happens within all religions and ethnic origins. It happens to singles, and it even happens within marriage. Every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.
A powerful art exhibit, “What were you wearing Waco” on display through April, aims to debunk the myth that clothing caused the assault, by featuring representations of what victims were wearing at the time of their attack. The exhibit seeks to open doors in an attempt to combat victim-blaming, promote awareness, and destroy stereotypes about rape and sexual assault.
“What Were You Wearing, Waco?“ kicks off with an opening night event in conjunction with First Friday Waco at The Warehouse, 727 Austin Avenue. It will then move to different locations in Waco.
- Opening Night, April 6th at 6pm
- Austin’s on the Ave, April 5-14th, 3pm to 12am
- Outside Baylor Sub, April 16-26th, from 8am to 5pm
- At local churches & organizations throughout the month of April
- Closing Night, April 27 at 5pm at Jesus Said Love
There is also a traveling portion of the exhibit. If you would like a piece of the exhibit to advertise “What Were You Wearing” at your church, school, or business, please email [email protected].
The original “What Were You Wearing” project was created in 2013 by Jen Brockman, director of KU’s Sexual Assault Prevention and Education Center, and Dr. Mary A. Wyandt-Heibert, who oversees the University of Arkansas’ rape education center. Born out of an advocacy ideal, the installation asks participants to understand that it is never about the clothing, and ending sexual violence is not as easy as changing our clothes.
List of Resources:
If you or someone you know has been Sexually Assaulted, you can call the Advocacy Center for Crime Victims and Children at (254) 752-9330. Their crisis hotline is available 24/7 at (888) 867-7233.
If you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence, you can call the Family Abuse Center at (254) 772-8999. Or you can contact the 24-hour hotline at (800) 283-8401.
Baylor’s Title IX department: 254-710-8454 or visit, https://www.baylor.edu/titleIX/
Geneece Goertzen is on the Board of Directors for the Family Abuse Center, and has a passion for victim advocacy. She has worked as costume designer for many of the recent shows at Waco Civic Theatre, as well as having created many historical costumes over the last decade.
Berkeley Anderson has a Master’s degree in public service and degrees in physics and history. She loves slam poetry, hot sauce, and any dog she meets. She is the Teen Dating Violence Project Manager at the Family Abuse Center.
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Cynthia Cunningham
It has happened again. Precious lives lost. National outcries of blame. Social media arguments. Never did I imagine that this would become our “normal” reality. Living in a world where our children and teachers were not safe in the classrooms.
It is a natural reaction for us to have extreme emotions when these shooting happen. Social media explodes with everyone’s opinion. It gets ugly. Everyone feels that their opinion is right and they stubbornly refuse to see things from another view point.
It’s not enough. I applaud the students that are using their voices following this tragedy to do something. This is what it takes to make a change. We can no longer do the same thing and expect change. We see that it doesn’t work. It’s time for action.
I am reminded of something I would tell my daughter often during her teen years. It’s Julia Roberts’s line in a movie called “Step Mom.” She is telling her step-daughter that she as two choices in life: do the same thing with the same results, or do something. Life is going to happen whether we do something or nothing. Why not do something?
Throughout our nation’s history, it took someone doing something to make a change:
- March 13, 1913, Alice Paul spearheaded the suffrage parade, a gathering in Washington D.C. to call for a constitutional amendment for the right for women to vote.
- December 5, 1955, Martin Luther King Jr lead the Montgomery Bus Boycott and lead the American civil rights movement.
- September 8, 1965, Delano Grape Boycott labor strike, with Cesar Chavez, demanded equal wages to the federal minimum wage.
These major events took someone deciding to do something! Imagine a world where each of us did something. It might not be pretty in the beginning. Think of all the struggles of the above three events. They were not successful overnight. But they did not give up. And as a result a change was made.
Consider what changes are needed that could prevent these tragic events. What could you do to make a change? It sure doesn’t help to just complain on social media. Re-think your actions.
Sounds like this latest tragedy had a lot of missed signs. Missed opportunities for help and to prevent this awful outcome. But we can’t know what we are not taught.
So here is my “Do Something”. I am proud to be a part of OkayToSay.org. This movement was launched by the Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute and their partners to increase awareness that most mental illnesses are treatable and to offer messages of hope and recovery to Texans and their families.
The goal of Okay to Say is to change the conversation and perceptions around mental illness, which ultimately can lead to:
- Growing understanding, advocacy and support for the mentally ill.
- Improving access to community services for diagnosis and treatment.
- Accelerating progress in the quality and delivery of mental health care.
If we make it okay to talk about our mental health, it would be just another health issue that had no embarrassment. Then those living with issues would feel no shame to seek help. With more people bravely acknowledging issues, more services would be needed. This could lead to more united voices asking for change. Our government would recognize that we must have better mental health care. It takes us all talking about it to raise awareness and end the stigma that has caused so many to hide their struggles.
If you want to take it a step further, educate yourself! Most of us have taken a CPR class. We now know how to help someone having a medical crisis. But few of us know what to do when someone is having a mental health crisis. So educate yourself! Take a Mental Health First Aid class.
Some things you learn about in a Mental Health First Aide class:
- Mental Health Problems: Depression, Anxiety Disorders, Psychosis, Substance Use Disorder, Eating Disorders
- First Aid for: Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Injury, Panic Attacks, Traumatic Events, Acute Psychosis, Alcohol Abuse and Aggressive Behavior
We have the Mental Health First Aid classes available in our community! Just reach out if you want to learn more:
See how easy it is to do something? If more people took these trainings, they would know how to help when they see the warning signs. They would not have to look back and have regrets for not recognizing a sign. We can do better!
All it takes is you making taking the step. Just do something! Be active! Start a movement… in whatever you are passionate about.
Cynthia Cunningham, a Wacoan since age 2, is the Executive Director for NAMI Waco. She lives with her husband of 28 years, Bobby, and two spoiled dogs and one royal cat! Her passion is educating others about mental health. She can be contacted at: www.NAMIWaco.com
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Kimberly Trippodo
Thanksgiving 2017 is in the books… even though the “official” day is past, this is still the season of giving and thankfulness.
As a social worker, I consider Thanksgiving a mental wellness holiday, in which mindfulness, gratitude, and positive cognition are prioritized. I work in Special Education; and I am a parent to thoughtful, explorative, kind young man with Autism. Two years ago, around Thanksgiving, I set out on a quest to do a better job of teaching the concept of gratitude to the children with whom I work. My own child was overstimulated by gift giving, which made gratitude during the exchange of gifts even trickier to teach. In turning to the research, obviously and without question, teaching children gratitude is something which requires the adults to demonstrate consistency, lifestyle change, and even a heart shift.
Gratitude Must Be Modeled
A clear theme in the literature emerged and moved me. The key facet to teaching gratitude turned up time and time again as modeling gratitude (Hammer, 2012 & Kupferschmid, 2015). It’s simple but convicting. Maybe my gratitude is not where it should be, which sets a tone for the children around me. I made an effort to count my blessings…yes, out loud. My husband and I thanked each other for the smallest things, to the point of possible ridiculousness. Something happened to my heart: a joy, a lightness, and humor (which I sometimes forget to have) emerged.
Gratitude is an active skill. To be able to look at challenges and say, “Yet I find a reason to have joy and to be thankful,” takes practice, as well as the ability to tolerate distress and develop solutions to overcome. Think about any maneuver learned in an athletic setting. The easiest way to learn a skill is to watch it done by someone more skilled than you and practice it until it becomes a habit.
Gratitude can be even more easily taught when rituals are made of the modeling. Rituals allow extra practice and folding into routine for our children with intellectual or developmental delays. Community service, volunteering, and charitable giving are great rituals to teach gratitude for what one has and the joy of helping others in need. Sharing what one has can diminish materialism (Hammer, 2012).
Many families in my life have dinner table activities such as “Name a high and a low,” which create ritualized discussion of gratitude nightly. The wonderful thing about this approach is it allows for authentic connection and communication to happen in general. Families who engage in this practice are not saying, “we only accept you if you sugarcoat your life.” Families instead allow children to come as their real selves–happy, sad, the range of emotion, and let it be known that their family can handle that conversation. Still, we teach children that even in the challenging times, we can find a reason to be grateful.
Gratitude Happens in Safe Environments
According to research, the other piece to teaching gratitude to children is to give them secure relationships in which to be vulnerable, in which to fail, in which to figure out who they are. All those pieces of knowing themselves, figuring out adaptability, and having healthy relationships with others reduce anxiety and create comfort and safety, so a child can have the space necessary to reflect on gratitude. The more present-minded, mindful, and unhurried we allow our children to be, the more room there is for gratitude to become a part of their thoughts and lives.
Any of us can think about times in life we felt ostracized or rejected. The precariousness of unstable relationships can make failure much scarier. Now, add the helplessness of child’s inability to care for themselves and the need for survival. Abuse, neglect, or trauma make gratitude much more difficult, for very understandable reasons.
The hopeful thing we know from the literature (Ludy Dobson and Perry, 2010 and DuFrense, 2012) is it just takes one stable adult, showing empathy to a child, to build their sense of safety and coping skills in the world. I work in schools, and while many children have secure relationships and loving families, not all of them do. We can all choose to be an adult who shows up in a consistent and warm manner, not allowing a child’s behavior to change the warmth with which we approach them, any of us can be that one secure relationship.
We have a huge responsibility to our kids. Inspiring gratitude takes more than saying, “be thankful,” to our children. It takes adults devoted to living in a state of gratitude. It is our job to model gratitude and foster safe relationships for the children in our lives. With practice, children can understand and even make a habit of this skill.
Kimberly Trippodo is a Social Worker for Waco ISD. In her spare time, she enjoys writing, anything from fiction, to poetry, to policy analyses, to blog posts. Her other modes of creative expression are culinary concoctions, her violin, and community events. She incorporates art as an expressive outlet in her work with students. She loves all the social and cultural growth happening in Waco, and most weekends, she is out and about in Waco, enjoying the city with her husband and son. You may reach her at [email protected].
The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these asirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected]pirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
References:
Baumgartner, Audra. 2013. “Teaching Kids Gratitude and Empathy Year-Long.” Pediatric Safety. https://www.pediatricsafety.net/2013/11/teaching-gratitude-empathy/
DuFrense, Susan. 2016. “Safe Adults & Creating Compassionate Schools Parts 1-4” Living in Dialogue. http://www.livingindialogue.com/
Hammer, Connie. 2012. “Growing Gratitude in Children With or Without Autism.” Parent Coaching for Autism. http://parentcoachingforautism.com/growing-gratitude-in-children-with-or-without-autism/
Kupferschmid, Sarah. 2015. “Gratitude, Autism, and ABA.” Behavioral Science in the 21st Century. http://www.bsci21.org/gratitude-autism-and-aba/
Ludy-Dobson, Christine and Perry, Bruce. 2010. “The Role of Healthy Relational Interactions in Buffering the Impact of Childhood Trauma.” Working with Children to Heal Interpersonal Trauma: The Power of Play. https://childtrauma.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/The_Role_of_Healthy_Relational_Interactions_Perry.pdf
By Lauren Paczynski
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and talking about it is never easy. Not only is it hard to explain anxiety to someone who’s never experienced it, but the nature of the disorder means that I am often nervous about speaking up in the first place. I think it’s important for people struggling with this disorder and others like it to talk about it, though— because if we want our condition to be understood, if we want more and better resources to become available, we first need to create more awareness about what anxiety is, exactly. Having said that, I’d like to share with you five things that I wish people knew about my disorder.
1.”Anxiety” is not just a fancy word for feeling “stressed out.” – Not only do I feel “normal” stress to a greater extent than most, I sometimes feel anxiety that is totally unrelated to anything actually going on in my life. I have whole days where I’m anxious and uncomfortable for no discernible reason, and nothing I do to try to alleviate the feeling seems to work. I often describe it to people this way: it’s like playing a video game or watching a movie and hearing the menacing music that signals something bad is going to happen, except it happens at random times, sometimes constantly. The threat isn’t actually there, but that signal in my brain that something is very wrong (or about to be) won’t go away.
I know I’m being irrational. There’s usually some part of my brain that understands that I’m worrying about something minor. That doesn’t mean that my emotional responses are any less real, or any less scary for me, and that doesn’t mean that telling me I’m overreacting is going to help.
2. Anxiety is “all in my head”— but that’s the problem. I can’t even count the number of times that someone has said some form of this to me— “It’s all in your head, just don’t worry so much!” At this point, I have a hard time responding politely anymore. Telling someone that their anxiety is “all in their head” is about as helpful as telling someone with a broken femur that it’s “all in your leg.” I know that my brain is messed up. That’s the whole problem with mental illness, and implying that because something is psychological it should be easy to fix is frankly a little ignorant. Just like any physical illness, mental illnesses require constant management and care. They can’t be fixed by just wishing them away or ignoring them— believe me, I’ve tried.
3. Anxiety affects everything I do. Not everyone feels this way about their anxiety, but for me it is a core part of who I am. Ultimately it has an effect on everything that I do. Even simple things, like ordering food or answering the phone, get filtered through my anxiety and become ordeals. Speaking up in class gives me a rush of nervous energy. I get nauseous just thinking about giving a presentation. For better or worse, this is my normal, and I live with it daily. As good as I usually am at staying on top of my anxiety, I will always have bad days. It’s on those bad days that the understanding and support of the people around me really makes a difference.
4. It’s not always laziness— sometimes it’s anxiety. Something I didn’t understand about myself for a long time— and something that my parents and teachers have long been frustrated by— is that anxiety can come with additional complications that don’t seem like they’d be related. Anxiety.org elaborates on this, saying “a number of studies have found that high anxiety individuals, such as those with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), have a decreased ability to ignore irrelevant information, especially when that information is threatening, and greater difficulty switching attention between tasks.”
What this means in practice, at least for me, is that occasionally I have a hard time focusing enough on a task to complete it. I have spent many long evenings at the library staring at an open textbook and trying desperately to make sense of it, or even manage to read it at all. This means that I sometimes have difficulty completing and submitting assignments on time. I had a hard time with this in high school. After years of developing coping strategies and learning how to work around this issue, I am now generally able to do what I need to do even if it’s hard to get started at first, but others may have more difficulty with this than I did.
I’m not arguing that you should ignore your anxious child or student’s failing grades because it isn’t their fault, but I am saying that a little understanding can go a long way. Instead of assuming they’re just lazy, talk to them. Figure out if this is something they might be struggling with, and see about getting them the help they need to overcome it.
5. I can’t “just get over it.” Unlike some physical problems – a broken bone, a fever – an anxiety disorder isn’t something that’s necessarily going to go away. I might be able to control it most or even all of the time, but it’s always going to require time, energy, and effort to do that. When my anxiety is bad, I can’t always just “push through it.” When it is under control it’s still taking up a sizable amount of my energy. That means that I may have to cancel plans sometimes, or miss out on something that I needed or wanted to experience, and that can be frustrating for both myself and the people around me.
If it comes down to a choice between another person’s feelings and my own mental stability, I’m always going to pick myself— I have to. This is something that anyone who loves someone with anxiety, or really with any mental illness, needs to understand. I love my friends, and my family, and my boyfriend, but sometimes self-care and solitude are the only things keeping me afloat. If someone with anxiety cancels on you, try to understand that it’s not that they don’t like spending time with you. It’s just that they may need some time alone to decompress.
Let me be clear that my experiences are not universal. Anxiety comes in many forms and presents itself in a bunch of different, often very personal ways. What I’m talking about here is my anxiety, my experiences. Every individual with anxiety has different needs. If someone you love has anxiety, I encourage you to talk with them about it. Ask them what it’s like for them, and what you can do to help. Not only will it help you understand them, I promise they’ll appreciate the effort.
If you think you or someone you love might be struggling with anxiety, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America has an extensive list of resources for identifying and managing various anxiety disorders: https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/ask-and-learn/resources
This Act Locally Waco Blog post was written by Lauren Paczynski. Lauren is a Senior at Baylor University, studying Professional Writing. A Virginia native, she moved to Texas in 2014 to attend Baylor and intends to stay here (at least for a while). After graduation, she hopes to work in editing & publishing. The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.
By Angela Collier
In a recent blog post, Sara Beth Stoltzfus discussed the need for support groups for those who are direct caregivers. Care givers lead stressful lives taking care of themselves and taking care of another person and sometimes multiple people. Over the last couple weeks, more of us have stepped into a care giver role due to weather catastrophes. We all know someone affected directly by the floods in Houston, Louisiana and other parts of the south. We watch the devastation on the television and our hearts go out to all those involved. Everyone in our area is looking to help those affected directly in some way or another. Taking care of others takes a toll on us mentally and physically. While we are looking to help others, we may tend to neglect ourselves and our own needs. Even though we may not have been affected directly by the floods, our hearts have gone out to those who have and we begin to experience emotions of guilt and deep sadness for what has been happening to others. Our compassion leads us to become overwhelmed with feelings of depression, hopelessness and fatigue.
Compassion Fatigue is a state experienced by those helping people or animals in distress; it is an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it can create a secondary traumatic stress for the helper. In the past, you may have heard this stated as survivor’s guilt. A search of the internet found the definition of survivor’s guilt as a particular type of guilt that may develop in people who have survived a life-threatening situation. Individuals who believe it is unfair that they survived when others died and/or believe they did not do enough to save the lives of others, or help after words to give enough help may come to experience survivor guilt after trauma or a catastrophic event.
There are many factors involved and we all experience life differently. Some of the symptoms of survivor guilt can include but not limited to:
- Nervousness/sadness/nervousness/anxiety
- Sleep Disturbances (not being able to sleep, sleeping too much, nightmares)
- Memory disturbances (not being able to remember things, not able to learn new things)
- Gastric disturbances (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weight loss/gain)
- Headaches, body aches and pains
Although feelings of guilt associated with surviving a life-threatening event or having feelings of not helping enough can be painful and difficult to overcome, it is possible to address and cope with such feelings. It may be helpful to first acknowledge those feelings and recognize that both are common emotions and a natural part of the process of healing from grief. Accept what you are feeling and know you are not alone. Others may be struggling just as you are. Remember your relief and appreciation for your survival can co-exist with your grief. Do not focus on the “whys” of the event and focus on what you can do now.
Also, remember to take care of yourself. A self-care routine is considered to be an important part of emotional healing and to stay healthy. Self-care typically involves regular physical movement (walking, exercise), soothing or relaxing activities (reading, writing, meditating), a nutritious diet, and plenty of rest. Support is also a crucial component of coping with survivor guilt. Speaking with others who shared the experience; attending a support group; or seeking help from a trusted mentor, adviser, or spiritual counselor can help an individual feel understood. Some may also find it helpful to find a way to memorialize or honor the losses of property and life. Acknowledge and accept the emotions that you are experiencing as they represent part of the healing process.
Should you continue to feel overwhelmed, seek out the help of a professional such as a counselor or therapist. A counselor can help you to manage and process emotions and challenge the thought patterns that may be contributing to the strong emotions that are causing the discomfort. Most of all remember you are not alone; there are others that are working through their emotions too. You can live the best life that you can to help honor those we have lost.
Angela Collier is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Waco who is trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) for helping individuals with trauma. Angela was born and raised in the Waco area. Angela enjoys spending time with her husband of 36 years, Travis, and their son and Daughter in law Travis and Virginia Collier and their three grandchildren Lillian, Matthew, and Mary. When not with family, Angela enjoys traveling worldwide to experience new places and people. Angela has been involved with several local agencies helping support local families in times of need.