Tami’s Big Do Over

Tami’s Big Do Over: ‘Tis The Season

(Tami Nutall Jefferson, a married mother and grandmother, is going back to school and she has invited us all along to enjoy the ride. For more posts in this series, click here: Tami’s Big Do Over. – ALW)

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

As some people are rounding the bases of Prom 2018, some of us are gearing up for Graduation 2018. The sleepless nights studying, the exam crams, the tuition payments, the juggling like we’re professional jugglers – it’s ALL about to come to an abrupt end. We’re now being launched in to the ‘real world’ of full-time employment, student loan payments, and a different kind of work-family juggling. For some of us, this road trip has taken almost half a century. Sadly, this season is not mine – but joyfully, it belongs to my guest, Terronga Weaver.

Terronga Makes Her-story

Terronga Weaver is repping Tarleton State University’s graduating class of 2018 with her Bachelor’s degree in Human Resources. Terronga is a Waco native, mother of 4, heir to the Jockey Club 100-year legacy – and, 45 years young. As Terronga readies to graduate on May 12th, I had the opportunity to hear her story about her life and her future. I’ll let you guys in on a little bit of it here.

TNJ > The floor is yours. What do you want to say to the people right now?

TW > It’s like Murphy’s law, the closer I get to finishing, the harder it gets. Different things pop up, and everything that can go wrong, will try to. There will always be challenges. People will always tell you to quit, BUT just know that you will be DYNAMIC when all this is finished.

TNJ > What was the beginning for Terronga?

TW > This journey started 22 years ago. I had just moved into Estella Maxey projects with 2 kids. Now, I have 4 kids, and 1 grandbaby. I was unemployed but starting college at MCC as part of the self-sufficiency program. I had to remind myself that low-income does not mean low-class. I eventually started working too. And not really knowing what I was doing to myself, I quit MCC with just 1 semester left to graduate and went on to work two [simultaneous] jobs in the nursing and fast-food industries for the next 10 years.

TNJ > Can you give us a little insight into life as a mom during this time?

TW > It was hard as a mom because of the judgment. You’re a bad mom if you work all the time. You’re a “welfare mom” if you’re at home taking care of your kids all day. Meanwhile, dads get no judgement for not being there. I had a hard time finding the balance or confidence in this particular situation.

TNJ > What was your lightbulb moment?

TW > I was working 2 jobs – typically from 8am to 11pm. One day I was late for one of my 6am shifts…and got wrote up! I realized at that moment, that for 10 years, I had been so busy making somebody else’s brand better, but I had lost my own brand at home with kids. My 2 younger kids (14 & 18) know me as the ‘soccer mom’, but my 2 older kids (26 & 27) just know me being at work. I lost their childhood and knowing who they are. I made up my mind that if I have to lose everything to start over, I will.

TNJ > Oooh, what happened next?

TW > I went to talk with MCC and Tarleton to see about finishing my education. That was in 2015 or 2016. Amazingly, they took every credit I had [earned], and I cried. I worked hard and had awesome people to help me out along the way. In December of 2017, I graduated from MCC with my Associate’s in Applied Science, and in a few weeks [from now], from Tarleton with my Bachelor’s in Human Resources. I took 5 classes last semester and 5 this semester, while still working at Home Depot, taking the weekly WIBO class with you at City Center Waco, and helping my mom run the Jockey Club in East Waco…and still being a mom.

TNJ > What pushed you through?

TW > You have to know your why. I, literally, look in the mirror and tell myself “I’m worth it.” Today’s sacrifices will pay off. You have to be your own biggest cheerleader. Take it slow if you have to. Just know that school will always work for you. Someone will always help you. There are thousands of reasons why you shouldn’t, but you only need one reason why you should. Mine was because I’m worth it.

TNJ > Tell me how this feels – graduating – because I can’t imagine right now.

TW > An interviewer told me I have options now. I don’t have to settle. Again, I cried. NOW, I am educated, well-informed, and I know my worth. I can have you design me the house I really want. I don’t have to live in the projects. There’s so much out there for me now. It’s bigger than surreal. I finally broke through my glass ceiling. Now I have to create another one to break through.

TNJ > Now you’re ready to move forward. What does your dream look like in the future?

TW > I’m a community person. The thing that hurts me most is to see our veterans come home with PTSD or be homeless and suffer. My dream would be to create a nice place for them. My bed and breakfast where they can return from tour and decompress and get reintegrated into American culture. My mom was a military nurse, so she can care for them, and I can provide them a safe, low-key place where they can calm their minds and bodies before going back to their “normal” lives and families here.

There’s so much more to Terronga, with her passion for human resources, loving on and engaging with people, managing businesses, I can’t fit it all here. If you want to know more about her, employ her, or help her make the dream possible for local veterans, email her at [email protected]

The Act Locally Waco blog publishes posts with a connection to these aspirations for Waco. If you are interested in writing for the Act Locally Waco Blog, please email [email protected] for more information.

Tami’s Big Do over: What Do We Want Waco to Be?

(Tami Nutall Jefferson, a married mother and grandmother, is going back to school and she has invited us all along to enjoy the ride. For more posts in this series, click here: Tami’s Big Do Over. – ALW)

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

NOW, we’re getting to the meat of it all…the fun of it all…the reason why I’m a new Aggie at 40-something years old. This semester I’m taking two required entry level planning classes. I was NOT excited about that because I wanted to take all the cool-titled elective planning and development courses. My one elective this semester is my modern architecture course – which, while I am finding my style influences, is turning out to be…decent. The really impactful courses are the other two.

Shout Out To The City

One of these courses inspired my first movie watch party this month featuring the movie “Urbanized”. (Sidenote: I call it a party, because to me, everything should be a party.) A dozen or so Wacoans gathered in the meeting room at the Central Library on Austin and watched the video together and talked about how the urban planning concepts in the movie might apply here in our home city. This is what it’s all about!

While my courses’ subject matter spans global urban areas, they strongly impact the way I view, engage, and apply my newfound knowledge and passion on a localized level. Each principle, design trend, or great idea of prioritizing people and spaces over cars and buildings, influences the answers to my daily questions of ‘What do we want Waco to be?” and “How does Waco grow from here?” But these are questions that I can’t think about or answer alone in my own bubble – and neither can our City planners and developers. These are questions best answered in conjunction with fellow Wacoans. Hence, the movie watch party.

I totally applaud the City of Waco for opening its doors, ears, plans, and roundtables so we can have these discussions with them while they’re formulating answers to these questions for Waco. A great example was the recent come and go session (again at the Central library) where we wrestled with the question of “one way or two?” for some of our downtown streets. Additional applause goes out to organizations like Prosper Waco who build real-people-collaboration vehicles into the development of strong Waco neighborhoods.

Um, Urban Planning, What Is That??

Last night, a lady (who was trying to secure my business as her virtual assistant client) told me she had heard of urban planning, but didn’t know what it was. So, she looked it up real quick. I was impressed. Most people won’t do that on almost any subject – especially urban planning – and will be content to just not know. So, I decided, instead of giving you old-college-lady fodder this month, to give you a quick look inside my brain and my college studies to help answer your burning questions “What is urban planning? What does it have to do with me, the City of Waco and what I want Waco to be? Hopefully, you’ll be able to look at your neck of the City through a different lens and understand why your presence and voice is vital to you, your children, grandchildren, and neighborhood’s pasts and futures.

A Newbie’s Study of Downtown Waco’s Poppin’ Downtown Farmer’s Market District

Below is an excerpt of my first urban space study. The findings rely on my experience as a Wacoan and the photos and intentional observation of the space on the particular days herein. I do not claim to have approached this from the most technically correct manner of an urban planning professional, but as a local and a student with slight knowledge and study of the elements at hand. The great thing about this type of study is that once you learn what the key elements mean, anyone anywhere can observe and conduct their own study in their own neighborhoods – and possibly create their own actions. Go forth and study!

PART I: LOCATION

Public parking lot – designated for use by the McLennan County Courthouse and site of the weekly-Saturday city-endorsed Waco Downtown Farmers Market (WDFM); located 500 Austin Avenue & 501 Washington Avenue, Waco, Texas

Elements Within The Space:

Paths

PV1 = One-way streets designed for 30 mph “high speed” vehicular traffic. Drivers on these streets don’t typically anticipate pedestrians crossing in the middle of the street…

Edges

E1 = The space’s only scenic, soft edge. It features the downtown’s only in-laid brick/concrete/grass combination-soft-edge; offering parallel-car parking…Some activity may occur here in the sense that people may stop and talk and linger for a moment before moving on…

Nodes

N1 = This node directly connects with the E1 edge and is the only location in the entire space that features built-in seating. …used to feature a “public” piano that anyone could play. That piano has now been removed.

Landmarks

L1 = McLennan County Courthouse – Built in 1901. Commencement site of Bonnie and Clyde’s crime tour. Most recently housed 130 bikers arrested during the Twin Peaks shootout.

Districts

D3 = The informal WDFM district (a district because the people make it one)…By 1:30pm this district is a ghost town…Sadly, they do not have a temporary, nor permanent, district sign.

PART II: THE SPACE AT EYE LEVEL

Saturday Morning: This February morning, only half of the D3 lot space was utilized…Typically, the Farmers Market occupies the entire D3 lot space as outdoor retail and community space…Below is what the space looks like less than 1 hour after the conclusion of the Farmers Market – and on Sundays.

Jury Day Morning: This space is akin to a CarMax auto sales lot…

Every Other Morning & Midday: This space is used as parking for courthouse visitors, business patrons, and area employees. No community activities take place in this space at this time…

Evening/Night: No community activities take place in this space at this time…

PART III: CRITIQUE OF THE SPACE DESIGN

Rating Scale: The Austin Avenue side is rated ‘C’. The other 3 sides are rated ‘F’ [Note: This scale is based on the quantity of street-level doors]

My Suggestions: This is wasted, boring space. Redesign the entire city block prioritizing people, public space, and lifestyle over…but I suggest applying the Barcelonian superblock principles…so that any one person can meet every live-work-play function …within this one square block…Learn more about the superblocks model at https://youtu.be/ZORzsubQA_M

PART III is where our presence and voices reign. We live our suggestions daily – or lack thereof.

For my pictures and all the meat in between, click here to view the entire .pdf. All copyrights reserved.

What’s Your -Er…?

(Tami Nutall Jefferson, a married mother and grandmother, is going back to school and she has invited us all along to enjoy the ride. For more posts in this series, click here: Tami’s Big Do Over. – ALW)

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

Everyone has one – the famous, the infamous, the invisible ones. I struggled with my -Er all last year. I committed myself to many things that ended up falling through my over-committed cracks. Things that sounded good, fun, or offered certain opportunities, but weren’t true to my -Er; even though I hadn’t defined that yet. And then, on Black Friday, the Universe turned off the little switch that makes my motor run non-stop. The depression was as overwhelming as the desire to do nothing. But I didn’t have that luxury because I started working in the most soul-sucking job ever on Cyber Monday. Going to that desolate place every day birthed an intense desire and drive within me to truly discover my -Er, because that was not it.

Really Tami?

What truly is my -Er? What am I going to school for? What am I volunteering for? What am I doing any of this for? But my biggest question after completing my first semester was “now that I’ve attained the ONE thing that I’ve always (getting into Texas A&M) and I’ve done the ONE job I’ve always wanted to do (designing buildings), what if my -Er is starting to change? You know, that feeling you have inside when you feel like “maybe I want something different now” but you can’t really quantify it and you feel like a total nimrod at the thought of changing it. And that other shoulder-sitter is saying “Really? Now?? You want to change NOW?” That was me.

And So The Journey Begins

One thing the Holy Spirit had been softly saying to me is that everybody has an -Er and I needed to find mine. So, I set out on my journey to find my -Er. I began to look around and see what that looked like in other people’s lives. I came across an article in Fast Company and noticed an -Er pattern. While I’m going to college to do an -Er job, I noticed the -Ers of highly successful people seem to stem from their core missions, not their job titles or functions. Cases in point:

Denise Morrison – CEO of Campbell’s Soup / Lead-er
Joel Manby – CEO of Herschend Family Entertainment / Lov-er
Oprah – CEO of OWN / Teach-er
Richard Branson – Founder of The Virgin Group / Encourag-er
Amanda Steinberg – Founder of DailyWorth.com / Cultivat-or

Most of us know some of these people and what their -Er jobs are, but their true -Ers are actually the baseline for their careers, lifestyles, their hobbies, activism…their everything – it’s the string that connects all the dots. Looking closer at Oprah, she states that “she wanted to be a teacher, but…never imagined it would be on TV.” Whether, it’s her talk shows, her school for girls, her magazine – the one foundational principle of Oprah, is that she’s teaching (or making it possible for others to teach) something to her audience.

Richard Branson is my role model. If you follow his blog or social media or press, you notice that he’s famous for two things – fun and encouragement. He’s mixed the two to create an empire of over 150 companies. Dig deeper and you find out that those companies are not companies he’s started or led, but they’re companies created with ‘normal’ entrepreneurs who he believes in and encourages to pursue their dreams as part of the Virgin network with Virgin cash, while business is always focused on happiness and people.

For the people on my list, their -Ers are actually their vehicles for fulfilling their purposes and missions. When you know your purpose and mission in life – or even for that year – you’re able to better and quickly define what your -Ers are, and what you say yes and no to.

Those Little Voices

For the last 6 months, in the back of my mind I’ve heard Katt Williams’ voice screaming “you got to be in tune with your star player.” I decided to make this my personal and professional mission for 2018 – to get in tune with my star player. But, again, that brings me back to my life’s mission. If your star player is the person that makes that life mission happen, then they need to know what the mission is.

And that brings me to the words of one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Myles Munroe and his “Recognize Your Vision & Dream” lesson (available on YouTube). After much listening, deliberation, self-assessment, lifestyle design, I finally settled on a mission that I believe will carry me through life, help me fulfill my purpose, and frame my -Ers for decades to come. It simply is “To be a person of value, wealth, and influence, so I can create the things that people need, want, and love” Sprinkle that with my Psalm 37:4 heart-desires (real estate and fun), and it circles right back to where I am in this season in my life. So, although, my -Ers may change in the near future, I can happily rest in that they will all fit in the grand scheme of things. And that my current -Er of “older undergrad student” is but for a moment.

The Price of College

I chose a major with an emphasis in Urban Planning – but I know that I do not want to work with the City for life in the planning department. My dream is to be a modern space builder & developer in Waco (no small feat). This semester I have three classes – two in urban planning and one in modern architecture. So, when my professors asked last week what I hope to get out of class, my honest answer was to learn from the basics of each subject and how I fit in the industry as a developer – considering my minors are tourism and event planning.

On day 1, in one of my urban planning classes, I watched the 17 minute ‘What is a City’ lecture video where my professor explained the connection between physical and social landscapes of cities. I had to immediately email him and tell him about my “fit” struggle, but how he in a matter of 10 minutes, managed to bring it all together and connect the dots for me and prove to me that I don’t have business-ADD — all in the first lecture. For the first time in life, I could clearly see the connection between the physical spaces and the social interactions that I long to create for people and how they connect in the real world – not just my mind. And now, I know that it does make sense, and it is possible. I can be a real estate developer, fun-maker, and place-maker all in one day!

I learned that day that the price of college is not how much you pay for it, but rather how much you lose in life – time and money and hope and fear – because of not being in the room with people having those conversations that feed your dreams, desires, knowledge, purpose, and mission. It’s too high of a price to pay.

Tami’s Big Do Over: And, Scene…

by Tami Nutall Jefferson

Lessons Learned

The Fall 2017 semester is wrapping up, and the lessons have been many.

For instance, my landscape architecture course was confirmation of how much I dislike history. Yet, I learned that much of today’s architecture, city and town planning, societal philosophies, gentrification, classism, religion and so much more actually originated thousands to hundreds of years ago in the Europe and Asia. I realized the Bible is true, when it says that “…there is [absolutely] nothing new under the sun.” The point is, whether in college or not, learning expands your view and objectivity of the world and helps put all of its issues into perspective – a perspective which is often skewed by inaccurate media, gossip, myths, legends, and lack of a knowledge of history and other cultures.

As for myself, I learned that, while the university application process can be intense, that same level of intensity is not built within every student. I assumed that every student, would have the same fervor, over-achieving spirit, and GPA that I have. I realized during the course of my first group project, that is so not the case. Everyone cannot perform academically well, nor do they want to when they have other classes and social activities to prioritize. I learned, through the help of my Leadership Plenty cohorts, that I really have to meet people where they are and not weigh them (or myself) down with my super high expectations.

I also learned that people need stuff to do – all day, everyday. I only took two classes because I wanted to ease into this TAMU academic life and not overload myself. What actually happened was that I underwhelmed myself. I had way to too much time on my hands; time that I filled with volunteering, business, and Monk (the TV show). My courses, I ended up procrastinating on because I knew I could do it in the final 2 hours before deadline. So, next semester is jam-packed with courses and work. The extra pressure actually leads to greater productivity.

Greatest lesson of all – for someone who’s car drives only a maximum of 15 minutes from home, in any direction – is that I (and my car) can actually make the 82-mile drive to Bryan-College Station with a smile. I practiced several times this year. I’m in training for the 2018-19 school year, when I’ll have to make that drive weekly.

A Journey Between Sisters

My next – and last – “old lady student” interview this semester, is my very own sister. The back story is that I’ve always been thought of as the career student in the family, while we were just glad that she finished high school. She never voiced her dreams or goals; she just existed in her own happy world. She’s definitely the Type C to my Type A personality. Early in her 20’s, she got a necessity-job as a nursing home nurse’s aid. We were proud of her for just doing something. But out of all of us, she’s been the most stable one over the last 2 decades with her job and family. But this summer, she shocked me, when she enrolled for her first semester at college. You would think I already know the answers to these questions, but I’m learning them just as you are. So, it is my pleasure to hear her journey. Let the interview begin.

Something About Erica

TNJ > Hello Sister. You haven’t been to school since high school in 2001. What made you think of going back to school at 34 years old and what made you actually decide to do it?

EW > I have been thinking about going to school for the last 3-4 years, but I’ve always found a reason not to go – made up a gazillion excuses. But what made me actually decide to go was just looking at my kids and realizing I want more for them and I’m tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I have a job, but jobs usually do not get you very far. I needed a career.

TNJ > What are you studying and how will it change your and your family’s life.?

EW > I’m studying Nursing. My end goal is to be a Director of Nursing, still in the long-term care industry. Nursing will change my life by allowing me to be more able to adequately provide for my family.

TNJ > What does it feel like being a first-time college student at 34?

EW > Going back to school after being out for some years is a bit challenging. Trying to balance all the schedules that I have in life such as work, school, and kids plus trying to study and do homework is a bit harder for me then it would be for some of my classmates who do not have half of those responsibilities. I’m trying my best to embrace being a first-time student though.

TNJ > What have you learned so far after your very first semester?

EW > What I’ve learned so far this school year is that I need to manage my time more wisely. Procrastination is not my friend. I need to go ahead and start on assignments, if possible, as soon as I get them so I won’t be cramming hard the night before.

TNJ > What advice would you give to another person thinking they’re too old to go to college or they’re not the “academic type”?

EW > My advice to anyone is go ahead and go to school. Age doesn’t matter. These years are going to pass anyways so you might as well be in school trying to improve your economic situation. You cannot focus on what could happen 2 years from now or how you will pay for college. You just have to do it. It will all work itself out.

Thank you Erica. Good luck on your journey. And happy holidays Waco.

Erica Williams is a student at Lone Star Community College in Houston, and is earning her Associate of Science degree for Nursing. Erica currently manages the medical records department at a long-term nursing facility, in addition to a household of 3 beautiful children and 1 husband.

Tami Nutall Jefferson is an older, non-traditional student with a professional real estate background. Tami begins her first academic year at Texas A&M University pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Urban Planning and Real Estate Development while commuting between Waco and College Station. Her hope is that Waco becomes the most attractive, modern, vibrant, and prosperous version of itself as an inclusive city and her mission is to help make that happen as a real estate developer and entrepreneur. Tami volunteers her time and voice to several downtown Waco placemaking and economic development causes and organizations. To engage and share your non-traditional student experiences with Tami, contact her at [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tami.nutall.94

Tami’s Big Do Over: Fear Factor

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

So, this month – at startup camp – I made history. In my own history book. This past weekend was the first time I have ever pitched a real business idea to a room full of anonymous people. I talk about my dreams and goals with my friends and colleagues all the time, but when it comes to public speaking – and especially about things that are close to my heart – I feel like I have a watermelon in my throat, my mind goes as dark as night, my voice vibrates like I’m yelling into a fan on speed 3, and I start crying inside. Public speaking is my number two fear. Speaking in public to people I don’t know, is number one – which is why my past business endeavors (cough) failed. Because, I refuse to talk to people. Who knows the psychosis behind it, who cares. What matters is how palpable the fright is at that moment – coupled with rejection and embarrassment. So let me tell you what happened.

The Chosen 50

When I first decided to apply at Texas A&M, I started investigating their student entrepreneurship culture online where I discovered this nifty experience called 3DayStartup. Basically, for three days (Friday-Sunday), a group of TAMU budding student business leaders are locked in a room where they flesh out a business from idea to pitch – and deliver that pitch in front of real industry experts and venture capitalists. I kept 3DS on my mental future-things-to-do list while they kept reminding me about it via email almost daily; probably because I signed up for the email list. Then one day in late September, I received an email that said applications were open for the Fall 2017 3DayStartup. A couple of days later something said “Apply!”. As I give in easily to inner-peer pressure, I applied with a non-descript business pitch idea. Soon after, I received another email saying that I was selected. I was one of the Chosen 50! That was impressive to me, until I found out that every student in one of my peer’s startup living community applied but only 6 were selected – my impression instantly elevated to awe. I knew at that point, God put me in that room. Why? That had yet to be revealed. But I digress.

The Struggle Is Real

After acceptance, the reality of The Pitch set in. How do I pitch a real estate development idea that is sexy enough for a room full of college students to vote for? How do I not die in front of people I don’t know? When I went to the orientation, I found out that pitches were optional. Best news ever! I could NOT pitch and just focus on how to build a business as a team – a new concept for me. But, the Thursday night before 3DS, I realized that I am a old @$$ woman, and I can not waste my time, tuition, and opportunity on being scared to talk to people anymore. If I can’t do this now, then what is even the point of me being in University, Leadership Plenty, Central Texas African American Chamber, and all these other organizations I purport to enhance through my service? I have to do it. And I have to kill it. I worked all night on an idea to pitch, and I came up with a clever real estate one. It had to be real estate, because I had to rep my College of Architecture while the other 49 students repped the Engineering & Business schools – which meant app after app after app. So I built a 60 second pitch in that 1 and a half hour drive to College Station on Friday.

The Struggle Is Over

I stood up on stage. I went blank at first. But I did it. And my pitch was chosen for round 2! Round 2 was a follow-up 60 second pitch with audience questions – for which I had no prepared pitch. I wrote one on the spot, but pretty much had to wing it on stage. My idea was ultimately not chosen for the Final 5, but I did get great feedback and interest and much love from the students and our Austin Capital Factory facilitator. I was first pick on a startup team for a business card app where I learned how to lead, co-lead, and fall back as part of a dynamic team. The best part of the weekend – aside from all the great free food and snacks – was when I got to encourage my teammate to deliver our pitch to the crowd. Her fright was real, as evident in her hyperventilating, but she killed it too. I was so proud of her. I loved seeing her growth. I loved this whole experience and I love the energy of being in a room full of millennials (sans the Ma’ams).

Jump

The point in all of this is that – first year, fifteenth year, student, professional, stay at home parent – great experiences and great people live on the other side of fear. Go ahead. Jump that bridge.

Tami Nutall Jefferson is an older, non-traditional student with a professional real estate background. Tami begins her first academic year at Texas A&M University pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Urban Planning and Real Estate Development while commuting between Waco and College Station. Her hope is that Waco becomes the most attractive, modern, vibrant, and prosperous version of itself as an inclusive city and her professional mission is to help make that happen as a real estate developer and entrepreneur. Tami volunteers her time and voice to many downtown Waco placemaking and economic development causes and organizations. To engage and share your non-traditional student experiences with Tami, contact her at t[email protected] or connect with her on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/tami.nutall1

Learn more about 3DS at www.3daystartup.com and Capital Factory www.capitalfactory.com

Tami’s Big Do Over: Mile Markers

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

The Truth About Age

If your life were a road trip, age would be your mile marker. Its sole purpose is to frame your goal-setting for every 12-month period so you can look back and see the tangible progress you have made – or not – towards your destination. This is easy enough when you’re in primary and secondary school – you have plenty of people setting goals for you and driving you towards them – even when all you want to do is play. But when you become college age – years 18 to…say, death – that goal setting and driving is now up to you. And it’s up to you to say when playtime is over.

I woke up the other morning and the first thing my God said to me was “Make current decisions based on your future self and one day you will meet your future self.” I wish I had known this principle at mile marker 15; but I get it today at mile marker 42. You know who else got it at mile marker 44 (same mile I’ll be at when I graduate)? Sam Walton! Sam Walton started his first five-and-dime Walton store at age 44. Who cares what he did the first 44 miles, he slayed those last 30 – for himself his family and the world.

A Collective Journey

Every graduation season, we see news stories and social media posts celebrating a new “twilight-years” graduate. An awesome thing, but my question is always “What was their journey like before graduation day? What’s their real story?” I wanted to do this column to seek out and share those answers with people who care and need such inspiration. So this month, it is my pleasure to introduce my new friend, and Wacoan, Meg Wallace, and her mile marker 52 college journey.

All About Meg

TNJ > Hello friend. Introduce yourself to us – your collegiate status, what matters most to you.

MW > Hi. I’m Meg Wallace, and I’m graduating from Baylor in May 2018 with a Master’s in Social Work. I’m also an empty nester, and I miss my two daughters something awful, but parenting by telephone has a certain kind of loveliness. I treasure the long, thoughtful conversations that we might not have had so regularly otherwise.

TNJ > What’s your Waco story?

MW > My husband, Robin, and I wrangled a U-Haul clear from Chicago to Waco in August 2016 after helping my younger daughter pack up for college. I had married Robin, a Baylor musicology professor and father of two fine young adults, in January 2014, but we maintained two households until I got my girls launched. Fortunately, Robin was able to take a sabbatical and spend a year in Chicago while he wrote his forthcoming book, before we finally made our home together here in Waco.

TNJ > Why college? Why now at this mile marker in your life?

MW > Once my girls were launched, it was finally time for to relaunch myself. I have a BSW and started my career in community work back in the ‘80s; freelancing for academic publishers while raising my girls. I’ve been itching for a career change for ages, but going back to school would have been impossible for me while I was supporting my family and raising my children. Some Baylor MSW students are doing it all at the same time. They are my heroes!

TNJ > What’s your next big step after graduating from Baylor?

MW > I wish I knew what will happen after school! My professional goal is to help congregations care well for their members because I know how important people’s natural support systems are when they’re walking through challenges. But not many places hire for that sort of work. Finding out what’s next will be an adventure.

TNJ > What is the college environment like for you at this stage in your life?

MW > Most of my classmates are very close in age to Robin’s and my kids, so I’m learning with people who could be my kids’ peers. It works out because I enjoy my kids and their friends, and they teach me a lot, just as my classmates do now. The greatest compliment I’ve received was when I heard through the grapevine that some of my classmates were talking about how they would love to have a mom like me. I’m not sure what my kids would think about that, but I sure appreciated the sentiment.

TNJ > What does your college and life experience look like today?

MW > Between putting in 16 to 20 hours a week at internship, working part-time, and taking 14 credit hours of classes, it’s impossible for me to spend as much time with my husband and children we would like. But they’re all on board with my relaunch, and I’m so grateful for their support. The light is at the end of the tunnel!

TNJ > What would you say to colleges & universities on behalf of their non-traditional students?

MW > Diversity in higher education requires making the college or grad school experience feasible so students can see it through. If professional schools that require internships want to attract and hang on to students of varying ages, nationalities, income levels, ethnic and racial backgrounds, and abilities who have varying earning needs, home responsibilities, and previous school experience, they need to think seriously about how to make diversity doable. Maybe they could revise coursework to eliminate redundancy, for example, and allow more ways for internship, class obligations, and income earning to align with each other. Nontraditional students are veteran jugglers. We have a lot to offer decision makers who are looking for new ways to make diversity doable while juggling their own many obligations.

Thank you, Meg for sharing your journey. Kudos and welcome to the new Waco!

Meg Wallace is a Community Wellness Intern at Waco Regional Baptist Association and can be reached at [email protected]

Tami Nutall Jefferson is an older, non-traditional student with a professional real estate background. Tami begins her first academic year at Texas A&M University pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Urban Planning and Real Estate Development while commuting between Waco and College Station. Her hope is that Waco becomes the most attractive, modern, vibrant, and prosperous version of itself as an inclusive city and her professional mission is to help make that happen as a real estate developer and entrepreneur. Tami volunteers her time and voice to many downtown Waco placemaking and economic development causes and organizations.

To engage and share your non-traditional student experiences with Tami, contact her at [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/tami.nutall1

Tami’s Big Do Over: “Howdy” It’s Welcome Week

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

In the middle of a conversation about nothing, I said, “Honey, I’m going to Howdy Week.” “What’s that?” While searching for an accurate description, and realizing that I didn’t know myself, It’s a week of parties!” just flew out of my mouth – and with such exuberance. The look I inspired was not a pleasant one. His response, “You can say ‘Howdy’ on Facebook.” I insisted that I must go. I knew I could seal the deal when I mentioned that I was going to the StartUp RoundUp student entrepreneur extravaganza. I don’t think his buy-in increased much. Nevertheless, welcome week — here I come!

The Backstory

There are several opportunities for students to ease into college life during the summer. The first is Fish Camp – a freshman tradition. One that I coveted as a local high schooler. But when I started receiving correspondence this year about it, I was like “just…no.” Then, there is T-Camp. Initially, I was excited about this. A camp just for transfer students – most of whom would NOT be 18 years old. I logged on to the website to find out more. Reasonably priced. Aggie Traditions. Make friends. Sign me up! Then I read the list of ‘items to bring’. The first three items listed were “pillow, pajamas, and blanket.” Wait. What the what?? This is a real damn camp!! I just closed the page. But then, you have “Howdy Week.” A chance to be a part of the Aggie community, participate in 2 hour events, AND sleep in my own bed. Perfect, I’m in!

It’s To Be Expected

I’m going to set out my expectations here. “Universe! I expect you to deliver.” Even though I’m 42 years old, I do have the same type of excitement and brand-newness that I would have had if I were 17 years old. I just don’t have the energy and heat tolerance.

So my first expectation is that this week is going to really push me out of my comfort zone – which is everything at my fingertips in a chilled 72 degree environment.
Half of me expects to capture my entire experience on social media – the other half of me expects that I will not want to (as I will be living in the moment).
All of me expects to never have to pay for food and be fully stuffed on hot dogs, hamburgers, and Slovacek sausage – apparently, another Aggie tradition.
I do expect to make at least 1 new friend (who is not a professor or employee). One of 30,000 is possible, right?
I expect to not nap during the day. I repeat, NOT nap during the day. That’s called ‘reverse psychology’ for the non-academics in the audience.
None of me expects to get ‘college-girl’ wasted. For some reason, that is my husband’s expectation though. Then I’ll be another college statistic. “Really, sir?”
But in the end, I do expect to come back with at least one funny to tell you. If not, then I did not do my job as a…well…person. Every person should have at least one funny during any given week, right? And yes, I use funny as a noun, not an adjective.

Well, What Had Actually Happened Was…

So, now it’s the Monday after Howdy Week. Let’s recap, shall we. I made it to Howdy Week on Thursday. So my week, turned into a weekend. For some reason, I just couldn’t tear myself away from my exciting Waco life and my work projects to go and do basically nothing. As long as I’m there for StartUp RoundUp on Friday I’m good. And I was. And it was 6 hours of non-stop free gourmet food and million dollar business advice.

AND, I forced myself (now or never) to do the impromptu open mic business idea pitch contest – 30 seconds, no Q&A. And from that I did make 1 new friend. Later in the day, I made a few more. It was awesome! I did take several pictures, but I purposefully reminded myself not to selfie everything. But, not one Slovacek sausage! Instead of getting ‘college-girl’ wasted I got the equivalent of ‘fat-kid’ wasted. I ate so much this weekend. I don’t want to see food anymore this semester. Coincidentally, my favorite biz idea at StartUp RoundUp was from the guy who created the UniBees app that let’s you scroll through all the free food offerings on campus. Be still my tummy!

And I did get that funny. It’s in my Facebook album along with my photo ops and biz pitch video. My environmental comfort zone needed no pushing, as the weather in Bryan-College Station

was rather lovely the entire weekend. My naps were off the chart though, as all Howdy events were cancelled, and the rain makes one want to caress the bed all day.

Now, It’s Official

I am an Aggie! And a pretty strong and resilient woman. But, in the last five days, I have experienced every spectrum of emotion – loneliness, happiness, despair, hope, sadness, excitement, love, fatigue, disappointment, rejection. A lot of that from me walking around A&M alone. Experiences ranged from me being dismissed by someone who I thought was a professional colleague to imaginations of my daughter & grandson hailing a boat ride just outside of the doorstop or my sister & baby nieces sitting atop of their second story roof. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to be a true college freshman having to face all of these emotions this week – especially since so many of my fellow Aggies come from the coastal area. But my greatest hope now, is that we have no Silver Taps ceremonies for our current or former students. I hope that everyone is able to enjoy the belated semester start date, and I hope that as urban planning, construction, and design students we can continue those Facebook conversations we started about better infrastructure design, and building design, and stormwater management so that this weekend doesn’t happen again. God Bless Texas.

Tami Nutall Jefferson has over a decade of experience in real estate sales and management and currently works as a home and building designer. This Fall she will begin her first academic year at Texas A&M University pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Urban Planning and Real Estate Development while commuting between Waco and College Station. Her hope is that Waco becomes the most attractive, modern, vibrant, and prosperous version of itself as an inclusive city and her professional mission is to help make that happen. Tami is also a 2017 graduate of the Leadership Plenty Institute and volunteers her time and voice to many downtown Waco placemaking and economic development causes and organizations.

To engage and share your non-traditional student experiences with Tami, contact her at [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/tami.nutall1

Tami’s Big Do Over: 21 Questions – Mostly Why?

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

Whether you’re reciting the opening of Hamlet’s soliloquy – “to be or not to be” – or humming Black Sheep’s hook inside your head – “you can get with this or you can get with that” – the bottom line always comes down to ‘WHY?”

Why is being this better than being that? Why is doing this better than doing that? For me, the “why” was “why go back to college, at all, at this point in my life?”

Flashback — It’s Me

Last year, I read an article about this 50-something year old person who spent their lifetime transforming themselves from a man into a woman. In the end, they were ravaged emotionally and physically and a shell of their real self. The one thing they lamented was how, throughout their whole journey, no one had ever asked them why they were doing what they were doing. All he/she got was support.

In preparing for this conversation with you this month, I realized I, too, have been that person. The person that everyone trusted to make her own best choices. Everyone I knew, pretty much always supported me. No one ever really questioned or challenged me or my “why.” I always thought it was a blessing. Now I’m reconsidering.

Unlike ever before, when it comes to going back to school, everyone has started asking me “Why?” Almost all of my friends and business associates – even my own husband – everyone is asking me “why?”

I have been answering the incessant “why” question for the last 6 months. For the first time in my life, I have to defend my “why.” It was easy to defend it to myself in February when I first asked myself the question. “Because this is what I’ve always wanted to do and because this is what I came back to Texas in 2011 to do. So I’m doing it.” But on the other side of 30, you somehow loose the privilege of having “I don’t know” and “Because I want to” as your reasons “why” for doing almost anything.

No One Wants a Weak Why

I have invested over a hundred hours the last few months going through my old journals and goals lists, the TAMU course catalog and syllabi, professor CVs, advertised industry job descriptions, and the like. I have accumulated a paper ream of goals and plans written out over the years that all pretty much say the same three or four things. All of this, to get to my “why.” Through the practice of researching my ‘Why?’ I went even farther and took time to research the objects of my affection. It’s one thing to really want something or whatever your “why” is. It’s a whole other thing to really count the cost of being, doing, and having that thing. You might find that your “why” is not strong enough to withstand the test of living and – in Silicon Valley terms – you might have to pivot.

Tami’s Choice

I planned on studying real estate development, urban planning, AND economic development and having a career doing all three. I began to ask myself, “In light of the fact that I can only take a limited number of elective credits, why do I REALLY want to take each of these subject matters instead of focusing on one specific one? Furthermore, what does each job truly entail?”

I read at least 50 job listings and resumes for these professions, as well as their respective trade associations and certification webpages. Conclusion – These are three completely different jobs with three completely different skill sets done by three completely different types of people. I’m only one of me! I can’t effectively do them all. I have to choose. So how do you choose? My life experience tells me if I go with choice B or C, then I’m always going be to distracted from my work and trying to figure out how I can jump the fence to choice A. I don’t have another 20 years to chase choices B, C, D, or Z. My time is now – or never, to be totally honest with myself. Researching and answering this hard “why” question has set me on a more attainable path with regard to my major and minor courses, my capital, my professional relationships, business endeavors, and so on. I essentially saved myself thousands of wasted hours and dollars, and secured my future Level 10 happiness. I pivoted – and it was okay. It was actually empowering. And my resolute “WHY” grew just a little bit more.

It’s The Big One

That’s great. But that still leaves the big WHY? unanswered. Why go to college in the first place? Every student has to answer this question – whether they’re 17 or 70. Often we ask it of ourselves as we’re pouring over some inane text at 2:00 am. This is where the “21 reasons why” come rolling out of my mouth. My “whys” range from the technical – learning more so I can earn more, to the passionate – my childhood dream, to the practical – I don’t want to be dumbed out of the future workforce. But as I look at them, there is no one Big Why. My “why” is like a pie, it takes many pieces to make up a whole one. There is no perfect blanket answer that will appease every asker. But if I know anything about life, it’s that any one of my 21”whys” will smack me square in the face when I’m faced with its opposition. Like a time, when I see the perfect job posting with educational requirements. Or if I should travel to Greece and see the hotelier’s TAMU degree on their office wall. Or when…

No matter what the occasion, audience, or location, my “why” has to be resolute, well-researched, and able to stand up to the caring people who ask and the dissident people who oppose it. That is something you don’t learn when everyone in your life, for your whole life, just blindly supports you without ever sincerely questioning you. That is something I’m learning now, and it’s something that I know will make me a strong leader.

And The Beat Goes On

I’ve been struggling all day with how to wrap this up in a nice, little bow. A well-versed conclusion. And I finally realize, as deadline approaches fast, there is no conclusion. This is the beginning. I’m only at the beginning of learning my “whys” and having them be real to me. I have 5 semesters to go and I’m excited to see what “whys” they will bring up. Especially that first semester. So until next time…

To engage and share your non-traditional student experiences with Tami, contact her at [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/tami.nutall1

Tami’s Big Do Over

By Tami Nutall Jefferson

I don’t know the correct term for that awkward feeling you get when the light bulb flashes on and you suddenly realize “OMG, I’m going to be an Aggie — and an Aggie mom at the same %$@# time!”. It started off as pride. Then rounded the base to old. Then another base at nausea, before finally sliding back to home at pride.

This is what I experienced while I was leisurely strolling Shadow, my dog, down my North Waco block this afternoon after I finished reading an invitation – my first of many I hope – to attend the Annual Howdy Party at Cameron Park Zoo. The party is hosted by the Waco-McLennan County Aggie Moms & The Greater Waco A&M Club. I mean, really? Who wants to hang out with a bunch of moms? I was about to dismiss it until I read the midsection that extolled meeting A&M Yell Leaders and other Aggie families in McLennan County. Then a glimmer of excitement set in. I get to meet other Waco Aggies! Maybe I won’t be here all alone next school year. That clinched it for me. Then my eyes fell on the Aggie Moms logo, and that’s when the “awkward” emerged.

But at the end of it all, pride was left. In case you haven’t heard of me, let me introduce myself. I am Tami – the loudest and the proudest member of the fighting Texas Aggie class of 2020. A Whoop! Sidebar – I don’t know my class yell yet, so I adopted the one from the 2019 class because it just sounds good. But you can bet there will be a story from me about it when I learn it. End of sidebar. I’m also a wife. A mother. A doting dog baby owner. And a future Waco changemaker. Ready for more awkard? I met my husband at college a few years ago. He happens to be one year older than my daughter who is currently a sophomore at college and in the middle of moving from Maryland to Texas this week. In another year or so, she will become a part of the fighting Texas Aggie family as well. So what does that make me? That makes me a 40-something year old grandmother – sexy might I add – who is heading back to college for the second time this millennia to grab hold of her bachelor’s degree.

The second-first time I returned to college was in the fall of 2011. I said during my thirties that I would go back and finish school whenever my daughter graduated high school. So one day in May 2011, I woke up and realized that my daughter was exiting high school. I couldn’t let me lie to me, so I decided to go for it. Perhaps, the universe decided for me. At that time, I was jobless, homeless, and surfing on my best friend’s couch in Maryland with no prospects for the future. Somehow, in 3 days, God took me from $0 to $120. Just enough to pay for my airfare from Maryland to Texas. I had a laptop, a suitcase, and a loosely defined plan to be an Aggie graduate. The only thing I didn’t have was my then 17-year-old daughter who refused to return back to Texas with me.

On July 31, I landed in Houston, at my mom’s house and by August 19th, I had a desktop computer, a full-time class schedule, tuition, and a room on campus. And $114 from my 4-week stint at Sonic. An angel of a woman picked me up in Houston and drove me to Waco and dropped me off at my new apartment. I was now a full-time student at Texas State Technical College with a twitter account called @TamisBigDoOver. That was my motto for my life. My goals were few – only 16. By the end of 2013, I had accomplished all 16 goals, and graduated TSTC with a degree in Architectural Drafting and 3.9 GPA. Not on that list, was a husband, but I also left TSTC with that.

I started working in Waco as a building designer. When I started, I swore to myself and my husband, that December 31, 2016, would be my last day there. Three years – that’s all they get. It’s funny how the universe listens and responds to what you say. Funny as in ironic. Because on January 2, 2017, I was laid off from my job. I couldn’t stay past my expiration date even if I wanted to.

I was happy. But I was sad. I wanted my freedom. But I wanted my paycheck. But, I remembered my promise to myself, and I figured “I have to do this now. I don’t have 20 more years to waste.” I logged onto ApplyTexas.org and began completing my application to Texas A&M University. This was the most nerve-wrecking thing I’ve ever done. You see, I’ve wanted to be an Aggie since I was 8 years old. I grew up an unwittingly poor, country, black girl in Bryan, TX in the 80s. Texas A&M was a BIG thing to me. We didn’t see black people go to college in my city back then. But something in me wanted to. I wanted to be a world-traveling architect. I could have taken the easy way out and said that my dream was never realized because I became a single mother at 17 in my senior year of high school. But I’m really not a fan of self-lying. The only reason my dream never materialized was because when my mother handed me the TAMU admission application at 17 years old, the biggest ball of fear I’d never felt before came rolling in. I couldn’t bring myself to open myself up to that much rejection. So, I let the application stay in my room where I could keep an eye on it before it eventually moved its way to the trashcan.

That feeling of fear has become a familiar one since that day. What moved me beyond that fear to actually turning in my Aggie admission application? The Dean of Students at TAMU’s College of Architecture told me in February of this year that he better see my application in his email box that Monday or else I wasn’t getting in. I had two days to write five essays – about ME… hardest thing ever. But I did it.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited.

I checked my application portal daily for almost two months. Nothing. No word. Then on April 19th, I finally emailed Dr. F and asked him when decisions would be made. No response. But on April 20th, I received that email saying “You’ve been accepted.” It was a surreal moment. Fear subsided. Aggie pride crept in. Happiness crept in. I could finally say to my mom – who’s been my biggest yet quietest supporter of this my whole life – that “I am an Aggie. I got in.” Then stupidity slithered in. Honestly, I did feel really stupid because I could have done this 24 years ago – or 20 or 10 or 5. My life and my daughter’s life would have been completely different. The only saving grace is that now, I know my place in the world. I know what I want from my career. I know how to control my education plan to get the most out of my degree and time and money. I know exactly how my education will position me to influence Waco – now my forever home.

But this is not my first go around. Remember, it’s my do over. The first time I came to Waco was to go to TSTC in 1994. I knew I wanted to transfer on to TAMU and become an architect. But I had no idea what that meant. I knew when I was working downtown in Waco in 1997 and I would stand in the middle of Austin Avenue, I wanted to transform the ugliness into a vibrant place for people to enjoy. But I had no idea how to do that. I knew when I graduated in 2013 after returning to Waco some 10 years later, that that decades old vision was still burning inside me. But I had no idea how to bring that out of me. Now, after living here and activating myself in the community and meeting local government and business leaders and getting involved in grassroots development efforts, NOW, I know how to harness my education to make Waco a more prosperous, beautiful, sexy city for the next generation to thrive in.

So this is my journey. For the next two and a half years, I’ll share with you what it’s like to be the old, married, grandmother on campus. I’ll share with you my collegiate research and lessons and projects and discoveries on what happens when real estate and life meet here in The 254. I’ll share with you my testimonies and inspirations as I attempt to attend university without taking on anymore student loan debt. And I hope that you will share with me – because we’re not alone in this journey of life “do overs”.

To engage and share your non-traditional student experiences with Tami, contact her at [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/tami.nutall1

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